Page 58 of The Stars are Dying

Lilith returned, taking my hand and pressing a cool glass to it. “My mother said this is what she would have worn to the Central,” Lilith said quietly.

I swallowed over the lump in my throat, but it only grew, so I drank fast and greedily, and only when something stroked my senses did I realize I was envisioning being back in the black waters of yesterday, perhaps wishing to have drowned in them again, and my mind turned dark with the thought. For if I had…I wouldn’t be staring at the hopeful young fae beside me now, not knowing how to break the news that she would never be free.

It was a cowardly, selfish thought that made my eyes burn.

My chest pulsed. Three beats. A push toward something that overcame me. Something I wasn’t used to. Purpose. This beacon rejoiced at the thought, heating with new determination. To a plan that seemed laughable, but the more I processed it, the less protest I could muster for the reckless course of action.

We have to win.

Cassia had wanted this. ShebelievedI could do it.

Do it for me. For all of us.

I cast my eyes up. Then they fell sideward to the hopeful friend I’d made. “Lilith?”

Her eyes lit up with acknowledgment and my face creased.

I would have longed for that recognition. To be known,seen.The Libertatem was our one hope in a century to have the freedom we deserved.

“I need your help.”

17

Itold Lilith everything, though it took its toll. Exhausted by the emotions once again, I tried hard not to break down. Lilith had a calm and bright nature that I felt relaxed in, and I knew my secret would be safe with her, for when we exchanged stories I couldn’t help but see a slightly younger version of myself.

“You’re very brave,” she said sadly, helping me tie the bodice at my back.

“When we have no choice, can it really be called bravery?”

“You do have a choice,” she said.

I caught her eye in the mirror and glanced down at the ensemble, trying not to be wracked with unworthy guilt, but Lilith was insistent I wear it.

“You don’t have to do this. You could flee and hide. This is not your responsibility, but you’re carrying it on.”

“You should move kingdoms to whichever you believe to be the strongest. Convince your parents. Will you do that?”

Lilith squeezed my arm before she went over to a new assortment. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I turned to her with an insistence that she change her mind, but she smiled, holding out a deep purple cloak also styled for combat. My protest faltered in rise of my nerves as I equipped myself with it, trying not to give in to the will to shrink out of it all as wearing such a fierce outfit felt like a mockery on me.

“Are you sure your mother won’t mind?” I tried one last time as I slid into a pair of boots. There was a little extra room around my toes, but they would suffice.

“I promise,” she said.

I glanced back at the bare mannequin one last time before following Lilith out.

“It’s at least five days’ ride,” Lilith called over her shoulder, and I rushed to keep up with her giddy pace. “You’ll need to push faster than usual with less rest to get there in time.”

My race to the Central wasn’t just for that. It would all be over if Calix made it back to Alisus Keep and announced Cassia’s death first.

“In Cassia’s profile her preferred weapon is a bow,” Lilith continued. I admired her attention and help greatly. I followed her as she heaved open twin doors, and my mouth opened as we trailed inside. There were so many weapons I didn’t know where to land my gaze. “You should arrive with one at least.”

Lilith examined three bows before settling on the smallest, most decorative one I didn’t immediately take.

“She taught me, but I’m no match for her skill.”

What was I thinking—that I could possibly pull this off and be convincing in the role?

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