Page 78 of Inside the Wicked

“Anything you want, baby.”

I take her hand as I drive, and for a moment it feels like we’re back four months ago, when everything felt good and right.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, not really expecting a deep answer.

“Fine.”

“‘Fine’ is what people say to hide the truth. Don’t hide from me. I can’t bear it.”

“It’s all I have right now, because I won’t begooduntil we are. Me and you, and then us.”

She’s right. I know it won’t be easy, and we still have a lot to deal with before we can even focus on ourselves.

“Me and you, and then us,” I repeat as a promise we will have that, no matter how dark my soul has to become to get us there.

CHAPTER 30

Anastasia

Rhett pulls up outside what looks like a road full of abandoned warehouses. I don’t question anything as he gets out. He always manages to make it around to my side before I’ve finished unclipping my seat belt.

He’s got his gun out, eyes tracking the entire deserted area, and his earpiece is in. A creeping sense of unease skitters across my skin as I get out the car and his arm encircles me. The outside is ominous, but we don’t linger. Rhett leads me inside, and we ascend a spiral staircase to the top before he pulls out keys.

“This is where you live?” I ask in a hushed tone since everything echoes in here.

“In D.C., yes.”

So he has more homes than one.

Inside I’m taken aback at the stark contrast of open beauty and homely warmth. It’s like an industrial-style loft converted into a large open-plan apartment. There’s a black and dark wood kitchen with an island in the back left corner, and the living area opposite it is like nothing I’ve seen before. It’s as if the sofa is double-sided. One side faces a rustic fireplace and a cubby stacked with wood; the other faces a projector screen spanning the wall, and in front of it is a rug and a coffee table. Even thebathroom is semi-open, with an elegant double shower, a deep freestanding bathtub, and the toilet in a lockable cubicle. On the other side is an impressive setup of a desk, a chair, and so many screens, like back in the Den. Then, finally, I take in the large four-poster bed with black linens.

I’m craning my neck and gawking at the space made of original wood and brick, with slanted wood beams on the ceiling, but the place has a modern touch.

“I think I like your place better,” I say, wandering in deeper.

“I imagine your father had a lot of sway in yours.”

Rhett drops his keys onto the island and shuffles out of his jacket. I watch him head over to the fireplace to light it. It’s not electric like the one in the penthouse, and I’m in awe of something so simple as Rhett sparking real flame onto the wood he piles in.

There’s something different about him in here. This is his safe place. No doubt highly guarded by more cameras than I can count, and he’s so relaxed, like we’ve stepped into a world where evil can’t touch us.

I take off my jacket, looking for somewhere to hang it. I feel like a careful tourist, not warning to disturb his peace in here.

“This place is yours too now—you know that, right?”

“Do you promise?” I say. It comes out in a bubble of panic that bursts. After everything I confessed to Oma today, what exhausted me the most was thinking this could end. “You said you can’t promise tomorrow, but promise you won’t want to leave me. No matter what’s to come.”

More bubbles grow in me when he paces away. My brow furrows. I’m bracing for a rejection, or at least an uncertain brush off, and I’ll just have to understand.

“I’ve thought about it,” he confesses, and it slices me inside. “I thought about everything in all those months, because I didn’t know how I was going to live with what I’d done. But the worstpart is that it wouldn’t matter if I left you. I could leave here today and never see you again, but even if ten years went by, I would still do it all again if someone took you. I would always choose to condemn my soul, no matter how wicked, to save you, because I can never stop loving you. I will do whatever it takes to make sure your heart only expires after it’s full of everything you ever desired from this life.”

“You love me,” I breathe. It’s a knife in my chest but an immense pressure relieved at the same time.

He turns back, and I’ve never seen him look so desperate and desolate. “I fuckinglivefor you, Anastasia Kinsley. I want to marry you and build that damn house with the porch. I want to love you until we’re six feet under, and I’ll find you in the next hell. What I feel for you isn’t something anything in life prepares you for. You’re in my fuckingbones,my every thought. If such a thing as a soul exists, you’re half of mine—there’s no other explanation. So leaving only lets him win. I’m going to love you in every day, every fucking second. I’ve caught you, little bird, and I’m never letting you fly away, because I’m going with you.”

My lip wobbles, and I hug myself. “I live for you too, Rhett Kaiser. I think the last four reckless, insane, terrible months have made that pretty damn clear. And yes.”

“Yes?”

---