Page 256 of A Flame of the Phoenix

“It’s all gone,” she whispered, the gravity of what the Spellthief had done hitting her anew.

“We’ll get it back,” he said.

Nerida looked at him with such darkness he flinched. “Get it back?” she said, her tone colder than their frozen bodies. “How can you tell me that? There is no getting it back—it’sgone.I feelnothing.I am not a Waterwielder anymore, and worst of all…I’m not a healer either.” Her anger faded, and a plea filled her eyes, reducing her voice to a whisper. “I don’t know who I am if I’m not that.”

Tarly pulled her to him. Her knees tucked tight to her chest, and he held her between his legs. “I know who you are. You’re the best damned healer without ever touching your magick. I’ve seen it time and time again. The way you make medicines and tonics. How you experiment with care in pursuit of advancing medical knowledge. If there’s a way to get your magick back, I will find it, I promise you. But you are so much more than your magick. Your mind is brilliant. You willalwaysbe a healer. No one can take that from you.”

“I’m sorry,” Tauria croaked, coming over to them.

Tarly caught sight of Nik gathering firewood with the wolves through the trees. They were all at risk of falling miserably ill with the icy weather against their wet bodies.

“It’s not your fault,” Nerida said.

“She came for me first, and I….I don’t know what happened.”

“I’m glad she didn’t get to you too.”

Tauria harbored guilt for escaping Edith’s wicked scheme. So did Tarly. If Nerida never got her magick back…he would never forgive himself for failing her.

Nik dropped the wood in front of them with a growl of frustration. The wolves kept adding logs to it as Nik tried to light the flame unsuccessfully. He threw the sticks with exasperation, running his hands through his hair. Tauria approached, giving him an affirming touch before resuming his work. His hand ran along her back while he lost himself to his thoughts.

“What’s our plan now?” Tarly asked, trying to warm Nerida absentmindedly with his hand and his body.

“Go back to High Farrow with nothing,” Nik said bitterly. He swore, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Maybe the others have something of triumph,” Tarly suggested.

Nik looked up with the darkest glare. “Are you kidding? Faythe’s best friend wasmurdered.Another good friend is Transitioned into dark fae and likely doesn’t even remember any of them. We are alllosingthis war.”

“Nik,” Tauria said—a gentle warning at his rising temper.

It worked to ground him, and he bowed his head in defeat.

But Nik was right.

Tarly looked up at that bleak night sky, thick with clouds smothering the stars. It became difficult to retain their hope against all that was beating them down.

“We’re alive,” Tarly said after a long stretch of silence. Tauria got the fire going, and they all huddled close to it. “There’s been many,manytimes we shouldn’t be, but we’re still here. That has to count for something. Nothing is over yet. We can’t let out setbacks make it the end because we lost our hope and fight. That is the only way they win before they’ve even killed us.”

“Tarly’s right,” Tauria agreed. “We have their numbers, and we know where they plan to deploy their legions. The best we can do right now is get back to High Farrow and prepare for the battles that are about to be upon us.”

They settled, getting warmer, and luckily, Edith hadn’t made off with their things. Tarly retrieved Nerida’s satchel, opening her pouch of herbs and medicines. Nerida removed her top layers, and Tarly adjusted his position, keeping his dry cloak he’d left behind partially covering her, but the proximity of another male riled an irrational irritation in him.

“You haven’t asked me for instruction once,” Nerida mused, drinking the pain-relieving tonic he offered. There was a brokenness in her voice that she hid under a smile, so damn resilient despite the monumental loss she’d suffered today.

“I learned from the best,” he said, kissing her cheek before applying a salve he’d mixed together. Tarly paused with his fingers on her skin. “I want to learn more about the healing magick I have…when you’re ready, of course. I shouldn’t have mentioned it now?—”

Her hand closed over his, and he believed her genuine smile. “I’m glad. It might actually help me deal with the absence of mine if I can help you reach yours.”

“Are you sure? It can wait?—”

Nerida leaned in to press her lips to his. “You’re not so sullen anymore, Sully.”

He shuffled closer, tucking them together, and pressed his lips to her shoulder. “I was only so because I was waiting for you. You saved me, Nerida.”

“I haven’t yet,” she said quietly, skimming her fingers over his graying skin.

Tarly shook his head. “I’ve lived countless days, but they’re worth nothing compared to the fraction filled with the feelings only you gave me.”

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