Page 244 of A Flame of the Phoenix

At least, with all he was, that was what he wanted more than anything.

He couldn’t stand to have it linger anywhere that Nerida was a second choice. She wasn’t. He felt more intensely for Nerida than he’d felt for Isabel, the one he’d believed was his mate and who had rejected him. Nerida wasn’t just his first choice—she was the only damned choice he’d ever wanted with every fiber of his being. At times it was tormenting.

Nik sighed. “I do get that,” he said, looking down at Tauria’s peaceful face. “Shit, that was wrong for me to say. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Your territorial bullshit with the three of us finally getting to address the awkwardneararrangement last summer, and your usual insufferable arrogance,” Tarly ranted.

Nik smiled, actually huffing a laugh. It defused some of their tension, but Tarly didn’t want to sit back down. The more he looked upon Nik and Tauria’s peaceful closeness, the more his dire situation became despairing.

“You can’t go walking on your own—you might pass out and die. Between you and me, I might not shed a tear, but Tauria would kill me.”

It was Tarly’s turn to let go of a partial laugh. He looked at Nik, and perhaps it was his draining time that opened alternate scenarios in his mind. The wonders of what could have been.

“Why did you always hate me so much?”

To his surprise, Nik frowned as though confused. “Hate you?”

“You weren’t exactly welcoming to me. You or Callen.”

The mention of the Prince of Dalrune struck a chord in them both.

“And here all this time I thought you detested me.”

Tarly scoffed. “I tried to be your friend.”

“When? In any formal gathering you would stand awkwardly by yourself, throwing daggers at me.”

“Because every chance you got, you would either insult or humiliate me!”

Nikgrinned.Tarly’s fists balled.

“I’ve never hated you, Tarly. I’ve always thought you were stuck-up and gloomy company in our youth, but I guess I misread your loneliness, and for that, I’m sorry.”

Tarly felt hit by a wave. Did Nik really just apologize?

He shook his head, questioning for a moment if he was awake. Asari stood, coming over to his side and brushing along his leg. Reaching down to the soft fur confirmed his reality a little more. Tarly looked down at the wolf with a twinge of yearning in his chest for Katori, his own companion wolf. Though he hoped she was keeping Nerida safe instead.

Tarly said, “I’m not going far, and I risk falling asleep if I stay down.”

He was so tired, but he feared closing his eyes in case he could never open them again. He just had to hold on until Nerida got here as the last thing he wanted to see in this world if he was to leave it.

“Fine. I have a feeling Asari is smart enough to call for us on your behalf.”

Tarly turned away, heading along the shore.

Every step became heavier, and it wasn’t long before he was regretting the idea to walk. He just wanted to lie down, rest his aching body for a few minutes. His bad arm still hung in a sling.

When Tarly cast his sight up, he stumbled to a halt.

Smoke billowed from the small home atop the hill. The one that had belonged to Nerida’s friend. A gentle glow filled one window, and Tarly’s heart skipped a beat.

“Nerida,” he breathed.

Was it her inside? Who else would occupy such a home in seclusion not long abandoned?

Tarly forgot his fatigue. He didn’t feel the aches of his body pressing forward with more determination than it had in days. He climbed the hill, reaching the home completely breathless while dark spots crept into his vision.

He just had to reach her. Just see her one last time and tell her how sorry he was for leaving, but that he’d done so for her.

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