Page 55 of Uxpectedly Ever After

I want to laugh, but it comes out wet, more like a sob.

"Come on," she says, guiding me to the couch. "Let's watch this disaster porn together, and you can tell me why you didn’t text me back this morning."

My fingers tighten around the cup of tea. "Banks bought a house."

Navy's eyebrows shoot up toward her hairline. "He what now?"

"A house. In Sellwood. This gorgeous Craftsman with a big porch and four bedrooms and a kitchen that looks like it was created straight off my dream Pinterest board." The words tumble out in a rush. "He bought it without telling me, Navy. Just signed the papers and got the keys and then handed them to me like the grand gesture at the end of every romantic story ever."

"Was it?"

"Was it what?"

"Romantic," she clarifies, watching me with those too-perceptive eyes of hers. She knows how much I need to control everything. "Because from where I'm sitting, Mr. Ridiculously Hot Firefighter buying a house for you and your baby falls firmly into the category of 'romantic as fuck.'"

"He didn't just buy a house," I say, setting down my tea because my hands are shaking too much to hold it. "He told mehe loves me. That he's been falling for me for years. That it's not about the baby or obligation or anything else. Just... me."

"And this is bad because...?"

"Because what if he's wrong?" The fear that's been choking me since Banks wrapped his hands around my face and told me he wants forever comes spilling out. "What if he thinks he loves me now, but in a year, or five years, or ten, he realizes it was just the excitement of the baby? Or he gets bored with my need to control everything? Or—"

"Or he gets killed in a fire and you never get the chance to tell him you love him too?" Navy cuts me off, her voice sharper than I've ever heard it. "Because that's what you're really afraid of, isn't it? Not that he'll leave. That he'll be taken from you."

Her words are like a knife slicing through me, spilling all my fears straight onto the floor. My mouth opens, but nothing comes out.

"You love that man," Navy continues, softer now. "I've watched you fall for him over these past months. Hell, I watched you pretend you hated him for years when it was so obvious you were obsessed with him just like he was obsessed with you. But you're so terrified of losing someone else you love that you'd rather push him away first."

"That's not—"

"It is," she insists. "And I get it. After your mom, I understand why you don't trust happiness to stick around. Then your dad couldn’t cope, and he left, too. But Clover, this is Banks we're talking about. The man holds your hair back when you puke. He shows up every single time you need him, and even when you insist you don't. He was willing to give Kasen up for you."

My phone chimes with an incoming text, and I practically dislocate my shoulder lifting it to my face to read it. It's from my brother and I let out a sob.

Kasen: Just heard from the fire captain that Banks is helping with the Timber block fire. He's not answering my calls. Have you heard anything from him?

Relief floods through me so intensely I actually feel lightheaded.

"Kasen's okay," I tell Navy, quickly texting back.

Navy squeezes my hand. "See? One down, one to go."

Me: No, nothing. And where the fuck have you been? I’ve called you like ten times, asshole.

Kasen: Shit, sorry

Kasen: It’s been chaotic down here

Kasen: Talk later, but lmk if you hear from Banks

Me: Fine

Me: Stay safe

Me: If you die, I’ll kill you

Kasen: Love you too

I toss my phone aside and rub my eyes, exhaustion and fear creating a toxic cocktail in my system. The tea's gone cold, but I drink it anyway, needing something to do with my hands.

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