Page 63 of Pretty Little Fears

“Whatthe fuck is going on?!”Ishout. “Whoare you people?”

Aweathered, disgusting man walks out from a white door that nearlyblends in with the wall.Hesteps close and peers down at me before tossing a gown in my direction. “I'mDr.Fitzgerald.Change.Weneed to do an examination.”

Thegown almost slips through my grip, butImanage to save it from falling.Ihold the thin material to my chest.Lookingover at the doctor,Iput as much strength into my voice asI’mcurrently capable of, “Iam not putting this on and you are not examining me.Noway.Youdisgusting, fucking per-”

Myhead twists to the side as the pain registers to my face.Mycheek grows where he just slapped me.Oneof the men who had dragged me in here is staring down at me with an evil grin. “Putthe gown on, orIcan do it for you.”Grabbinghis junk, he continues, “Andtrust me,I'denjoy that.''Hesmiles, his grin full of yellowed and missing teeth.Mystomach turns.

“You’recrazy.There'sno wayI'mletting you touch me.You’remost likely not even a real doctor!”I'mshouting at this point butIdon't care.Everyfiber of my being is screaming at me to fight back. “Letme fucking go!”I'mabout to keep yelling when the barrel of a gun is pointed an inch away from my face.

“Listenhere, you little fucking bitch.Mommyis all alone in that house inNewYork, isn't she?Youknow how easy it would be to just go through that side door and put a bullet in her skull?”Hespits, his face turning red with the force of his words.

Histhreat sends a chill so deep throughout my body,Ifeel it in my bones.Ididn’t realize truly how dangerous the people thatI'mwith were, until this moment.Ican’t let anything happen to her, she's allIhave left. “Isthere somewhereIcan change?”Iwhisper out, my head lowering, refusing to meet their prying gazes.

“Rightfucking here, you brat.”Hewaves his gun, motioning to whereI'mcurrently sitting.Isuck in a big breath and brace myself for whatI'mabout to do.Discomfortcourses through me andIwant to cry, butIrefuse to give them my fear right now.

“Canyou untie me then, please?”Iask, fear and frustration filling my voice.

“Don’teven think about running, bitch.”Theguard snarls, looking at his accomplice and nodding in approval.Heundoes the ropes at my hands and ankles, then steps back.

Grabbingthe bottom of my shirt,Ipull it up and off.Thecold room sends a chill down my spine, as do the beady eyes of the men staring at me.Mygut churns andIhave to swallow down the vomit threatening to come up.Ipull the gown over my head before pulling off my pants, trying to preserve my privacy as long asIcan.

Inthe back of my mind,Iknew where this was going.Imay be getting a full exam, but something in my gut knows this will be stealing a piece of my privacy.Theywill violate me in a way no one has.

Asthe doctor starts making his way towards me, my eyes glance over to the men who brought me here.They'reoff in the corner, no longer paying attention.They’relighting up a cigarette andIam instantly hit with a wave of sadness at the reminder ofEmmett.Ican’t think about him right now though.Glancingback to the doctor,Inotice the exit door behind him.

Thelast minute decision may have been idiotic butIwould beat myself up about it ifIdidn't at least try.I'mup and sprinting towards the door before the doctor is able to reach me.Mybare feet slap against the tile floor.Thepounding of my heart fills my ears.Ifaintly hear one of the men shout after me, “Youshouldn’t have done that, fucking bitch.”

Idon't dare look back, this is my chance at freedom andI’mtaking it.Iwill my legs to go faster but my fantasies are quickly crushed when my hair is wrapped around their knuckles andI'mbeing thrown to the floor.Landingon my knees the pain radiates through my legs, causing a whimper to fall from my lips. “Fuck!”

“Youhad a chance for us to do this the nice way, you only have yourself to thank for this.”Oneof the men spits, the two of them grab me by my arms and start dragging me over to the examination table.Ikick my legs and scream as loud asIcan as they throw me on top.I’mtrying to buck them off as one of them holds me down and the other starts taking my limbs and securing them to the table.

I'mstrapped down to the cold metal by my wrists and ankles.Decidingto preserve my energy for what's to come,Iurge my heart to slow down and relax.Iexerted a lot of energy attempting to escape, especially with the drugs still coursing in my veins and the pounding in my head.Ineed to assess what’s going on.Theonly wayImake it out of here is by making smart decisions,Ican't be rash right now.

“Nowthat you’re morecompliant,I'mgoing to draw some blood and run some tests.Thenwe’ll physically examine you.”Hegruffly says.Hesounds bored, but that doesn't change the utter discomfortI'mfeeling.Ilook as he rolls over a table filled with needles and vials, making my stomach churn.Ashe picks up a needle,Isqueeze my eyes shut.Theharsh prickagainst my skin makes me wince, clearly, he doesn’t give a fuck about trying to not cause me any pain.

WhenIfeel the sharp instrument leave my skin,Iopen my eyes once again.Hedoesn't tell me what he's doing, he just places his hands on my abdomen and starts pressing.Hedoes the same along my sides, arms, and practically my whole body.

Ibite my tongue to keep from yelling at him.Hehasn't touched me in a way that's out of line from a typical exam so my nerves start to slightly calm.Thatis, until he directs the two other men in the room to spread my legs.

Withthe restraints on my wrists and ankles,Ican't kick or use my hands, butIdo my best to buck my lower half, twisting my body and trying to keep him away from me. “No, no, no!”Ifrantically chant.Oneof the men harshly opens my legs, as the other pushes down on my abdomen to keep me from moving my hips.

“No, no, please!Pleasedon't do this, please!”I'mshaking my head back and forth while looking down at him between my legs.Tryingto pull them closed but it’s useless against the strength of the one holding them open.Hiseyes reflect nothing back at me.They’reempty.Hefeels nothing for what he’s about to do andIdon't know whyIthoughtIcould convince him otherwise.

Helooks away from me and at my exposed privates.Ithrow my head back and squeeze my eyes shut.Beggingright now is useless.IfIwant to survive this,Ineed to figure out a way to brace myself for what’s to come.

JustthenIfeel a latexted finger enter me.Therough material burns against me as he presses on my insides.Heperforms the testI'vehad many times before, the only difference is, those had my consent.

Asingle tear rolls down my cheek as he pulls his gloved finger out of me.Standing, he walks away to where vials of my blood are lying.Thefear starts to wrap around my heart asIrealize that was probably the lesser evil of what awaits me in this hell.I’mfucked.Ilost my one chance to escape.

Hepackages the vials in a plastic bag and exits the room.Thetwo men return to their place at the door and leave me be.Hourspass by before the doctor returns with his clipboard.

Thedoctor clears his throat and looks at the paper thatIassume is housing my results, then back at me.Helooks at the other men in the room who brought me here and reads them off.

“Sheis not a virgin.Sheis clean of any diseases.Everythingseems to be in good health.Oneminor inconvenience though, she is pregnant.”

Myworld stops.Theair is stolen from my lungs as the word rings through the air.I'mpregnant.Howthe hell amIpregnant?Mythoughts drift back to the nightEmmettrambled on about switching my birth control.Ohmy fucking god, he wasn't joking,Angerstarts to form deep in my gut but along with it is a wave of protection and conservation.

I'mangry withEmmettbut the feeling of connection that surges through me is greater than anythingI'veever felt.EmmettandIhave a little piece of us growing inside me, something entirely ours.Iwon't let them take that from me.Theycan take whatever they want, but not this.Ineed this.

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