Page 8 of Pretty Little Fears

Atthe age of fifty, my father is still relatively attractive.Darkhair and viridescent eyes that match my own, a sharp jawline, and a muscular frame that mirrors my appearance.I’vealways resembled my father, another reasonIhate looking at my reflection.

Aftermy mother’s passing,Ibegan loathing my looks.IfIdidn’t take after her physically, wasIcapable of taking after her emotionally?

FromwhatIknow and remember, she was a beautiful person.Ourmemories were loving, affectionate, and worth remembering.Shewas always cheerful and smiling, lent a helpful hand whenever she could, and spent lots of time exploring creative mediums like painting and writing.Howwas she with my father long enough to marry and have his child?I’llnever know.Theyare complete opposites, but you know what they say.

Imeet his eyes, refusing to show him weakness.Refusingto let him believe the vile events from my childhood impacted me asmuch as they did.Evenas the feelings of shame and disgust coat my insides,Itamp them down.Facingthe demon,Ipush back my shoulders and hold my chin up, bracing myself for the fire.

Thelast elder steps out of the room and out comes the heat.

“Mustyou always be so insolent?”Jamessnaps.Hislips thinning as he glares at me.Ifeel my blood start to boil with every word that comes out of his mouth.

“Ihave thingsIneed to do.Whatdo you want?”Iforce from behind clenched teeth.

“Watchyour tone, you ungrateful brat.Eversince you were conceived you've been nothing but an inconvenience.Evenyour mother knew what a burden you were and still are.”Hespits.Avein in his forehead starts to protrude.Myspine instantly stiffens.Shewas the only good thingIhad in this world.Theconstant reminder thatIam the reason my mother is gone, is one of the many reasonsIavoid my father.

“Youshould be embarrassed of yourself, truly.Notonly did you make her miserable with your existence, but you drove her to her death.Nowyou stand here in ceremonies and meetings, daydreaming, not showing an ounce of respect to our organization.Yourfeelings do not exist in this brotherhood.Getyour shit together.Thisis the last warningIwill give you.”

Ican't respond.Iwant to say something,Iwant to tell him just how wrong he is, but doubt begins to crawl its way into the corners of my mind, making me silent.AllIcan do is stare at him.Whenhe realizes he won't be getting a response, he continues.

“Anyway,Ididn't ask you to stay behind to remind you of your worthlessness,Iwanted to speak to you about your classes.Noson of mine will be taking something as insignificant as art.Youwill be taking all business courses.”Hestates matter of factly. “Ifyou ever plan on being competent enough to take over theBlackwoodbusinesses, you need to have the education to back it.”

Itwas never in my plans to take over the family business.Ifhe had given a sliver of attention to anything other than his desperate need for power, he would have seen how giftedIam with some paint and a brush, just like mom was.Wishfulthinking on my part.

Mymother was an artist.Herlove for art extended to me.Ihave her work hanging around the house and my favorite painting,FemeiaDistrusa,TheBrokenWoman, was placed in my bedroom.Manyof my lonely nights were spent staring into the art, reminiscing.Eithermy father had forgotten that fact or he simply loves to dig the knife deeper into my chest with every insult.Knowinghim, it’s the latter.

“It’sfunny you mention that because running the business wasn’t a goalIhad in mind.Iwill be taking the art class, whether you change my schedule or not.Youshould start looking for a new heir because it won’t be me filling in as your predecessor.”Irespond with a sarcastic smile. “Nicetalk.I’llsee you around,James.”Ifinish and turn on my heels, leaving without sparing him another glance.

CHAPTER FOUR

BLAIR

Theexcitementfor the start of my journey atBlackwoodhits whenIopen my eyes and notice the sun has yet to rise.I'mwide awake before my alarm gets the chance to go off, butIcan't go back to bed with the anticipation coursing through my veins.Moststudents look forward to college because of the parties and wild times.Don'tget me wrong,Ifully plan to take advantage of everythingBlackwoodhas to offer, both inside and outside of the lecture halls, butIhave dreams and goals that surmount… extracurriculars.Stayingfocused will get me to whereIneed to be to continue my dad’s dream.

Ilay staring at the ceiling, anxious yet thrilled for my first day.Afew minutes go by beforeIpull my comforter back and decide to go for a run to burn off this restless energy.Onceat my closet,Ipull on a pair of black leggings and a baby pink long sleeve shirt before heading over to the bathroom.Ibrush my teeth and throw my hair up into a messy pony with some front pieces falling loose.

Ihead back to my bedroom and pull a pair of running shoes on.Tiptoeingdown the hallway and through the kitchen,Iquietly close the door shut behind me and lock it.Turningaround,Isee the sun beginning to rise, and breathe in the slight crisp to the air.Itmakes the perfect condition for running.

AsIinsert my headphones, my favorite playlist starts up.FriendsbyChaseAtlanticfills my ears andIbegin to jog down the winding cobblestone pathways letting my racing thoughts and energy deplete with every hit of my soles against the stone.Thepath is dimly lit by the surrounding lamp posts, and rising sun.

Ilose myself in my run until the feeling of being watched skirts down my body.Thehairs on the back of my neck stand up andIhalt to a stop.Aspentold me about some disappearances on campus recently, maybe it wasn't that smart to go out by myself this early.Glancingat my surroundings, there’s not a single person.

Theuniversity assured us they're doing everything they can to keep us out of harm’s way, but for some odd reason,Ican’t shake this feeling.Iinhale and exhale deeply, attempting to diffuse my anxiety.Iswitch to a brisk walk, that is untilIfeel a hole being burned into the side of my face.Lookingover to my right,Isee the culprit.

Sittingon the porch of a house somehow more imposing than mine,Isee the captivating manIspilled my coffee on.EmmettBlackwood, asAspenhad clarified.He'ssitting with his elbows on his knees staring at me with narrowed eyes, taking a slow drag of his cigarette.Ew.Rememberinghow much of an asshole he was during our first encounter,Idecide to slow down and give him some friendly advice.

“Thosewill kill you, you know.Switchto gum.”Ishout so he can hear me asIwrinkle my nose in disgust.Ifhis arched brow is any indicator, he wasn't expecting me to say anything to him.

“Notif your presence kills me first, baby.”Hesnaps.

“Iwas just warning you.Noneed to be such a prick about it.”Iretort.Heuncurls from his spot on the porch, reminding me of just how tall he is, and saunters over to me.Likean idiot,Ifreeze as he stops so close to me,Ican feel the puff of his breath on my face.Itsmells like mint and tobacco, delicious but deadly.JustasAspenhad warned.

Hetakes a part of my ponytail and curls it around his finger.

“What'swrong?Areyou worried about me, baby?”Emmetthums low.Hishusky voice causes heat to pool deep in my core, making my breath hitch.Absolutelynot.Ihave to get out of here.Iwill not let my body betray me, regardless of how good looking he is.

Iglare up at him, “You’redelusional andIam not your baby.”

“Whateveryou say…”There'sa slight pause as if he's waiting for me to tell him my name.Yeah, no.Nothappening.Iremain silent asIstare back into his dark and alluring eyes.

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