Page 84 of Pretty Little Fears

Panicfills my body as dread and doom wrap around my heart.I’mnever getting out of here.I’lldie in this fucking basement.I’lldie never getting to accomplish everythingIwanted from this life.

I’lldie without getting to explore the depths of my feelings forEmmett.

I'lldie without seeing my mother again.

Somany firsts stolen from me, so many experiencesI’llnever get to have.

Asingle tear makes its way down my cheek as my chest grows tighter.Itfeels as if every single atom in my body freezes in place as my throat closes and it becomes harder to breathe.

Ihave been treated as less than a human.Asmerchandise.Likemy life is no longer my own.Iam simply something for someone else to possess, use, and destroy.Achoked sob ripples through me as my thoughts slink deeper.Mybody shakes with the force of my cries, making the chains clink with the movement.

Why?

Whydid these monsters choose me to be put through this hell?Whatwas it for, money?Power?Allthings that can be taken away in a second, matter more than my life.

Myback burns from the lacerations given to me byLorenzo.Mybody aches and cramps, the after effects of my miscarriage still running its course.Ihaven’t gotten proper medical treatment.Ihaven’t been able to grieve my child because of everything else that’s been thrown my way.Idon’t know ifI’lleverget to properly mourn.Tearsbegin to fall down the sides of my face asIthink of what could’ve been.

Iwonder the moment it happened, the miscarriage.Whatexact blow from the guard caused it.I’venever wished pain or death on anyone in my life, butIhope he dies soon and rots in hell.Iplace my hands over my womb asIcry harder.

Icry for my child who will never get to see the world and know how much they were loved.Icry for myself andEmmett, the parents who won’t meet their baby.Icry becauseIknow death is knocking on my door andLorenzowill never be punished.WhenI’mgone, another young soul will take my place, and the cycle will continue.

Shiftingmy body, the soreness between my legs jogs my memory ofLorenzo’sintrusion.Myweeping continues knowing it’ll happen again and again untilItake my last breath.Pretendingit’sEmmettand notLorenzois such bullshit.Iknow his touch and nothing or no one can replicate that.

Isob until my throat burns and my lungs ache for air.

Untilmy good eye has become swollen.

UntilIhave no more tears left to cry.

Mymind drifts off, wondering where he is.I’msure he’s noticed my disappearance, but he won’t have any idea of whereIam.Ishe going to be my knight in bloody armor, destroying everything and everyone who dared to keep him apart from his obsession for so long?

Ifucking hope so.

Ihope he saves me.

Buthope is such a fickle thing.Iwonder what might kill me first.

Myhope, or this hell.

Whatsounds like footsteps making their way closer to me pulls me from the safety of my thoughts.Theonly placeIcan truly feel at peace anymore.Theonly thing that remains mine and only mine.

Wipingthe tears from my bruised cheeks,Ipull together any strands of dignity and strengthIhave left.Irefuse to letLorenzothink he can break me that easily.Myfeatures harden as he unlocks the door to my cage and fills the door frame.

Ismell the food in his hands beforeIsee it.Notonly that but there's a tattered blanket in his hold as well.Thepiece of fabric could be mistaken as a bath towel.It'sso small.Mystomach noticed the food first though, because it growls, the sound echoing in the quiet room.Lorenzosmirks at the sound, tossing the tray on the floor.

“Ifyou can reach it, you can eat.Ifyou can't, then…”Hefades off.Hedoesn't need to finish.IfIcan't reach it,Idon't eat.It'sobvious.Angerbrews inside me but he opens his mouth again, clearly having more to say. “I, personally, don't care if you can reach it or not.Deador alive, a hole is a hole.”Hiseyes harden as he snarls out his next words.

“Atleast if you were dead,Iwouldn’t have to deal with your annoying and constant crying.”Theair seems to grow thinner around me.He’sfucking sick.Twisted.Demented.I'min the hands of a complete psychopath.

“Goon, try to reach it.”Idon't fall for his taunts.It’sclearIcan’t reach it, the tray is by his feet across the fucking room.Ihaven't moved butIknow my chains won’t allow me to maneuver that far.

Hemust see the realization cover my features because a sinister smile begins to spread on his face. “No?Iknow you’re hungry.Whydon'tIgive you something else to eat then?”

Chillsrun down my body at the innuendo.Ishe referring to his dick?Ifhe places that anywhere near my mouth,Iwillbite it off.Hestalks towards me while unzipping his pants.Thesound of the zipper's teeth opening overpowers the thumping of my heart in my ears.Ipress back to the cold wall behind me, hoping that ifIpress hard enough,I'llsomehow blend in.Whenhe reaches me, he tugs down the material of his boxers, and reaches inside, pulling his dick out of his pants.

I’mgoing to be fucking sick.

Iflooks could kill, he would be dead right now.Turningmy head away,Isqueeze my eyes closed, not wanting to see what he's going to do.Irealize that was my first mistake when his harsh words cut through the air. “Youwill fucking watch asItouch myself whileIwatch you, whimpering and afraid.Youwill fucking look orI’llshove my dick inside you again.Thechoice is yours.”Hesnarls, the words hit me in the chest like the whip he took to my back.Eachone digs a little deeper past the surface, scaring me.

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