Page 91 of Pretty Little Fears

Lookingover at him, the feelings of safety wash over me, attempting to tamper down the pain and panic that is currently consuming me.Theaffection and understanding swirling in his irises makes my bottom lip start to wobble as a soul crushing sob releases from between them.Ican’t stop them as the words tumble out of me.

“Iwas so scared,Emmett.Iwas walking on campus and then the next thingIknew,Iwas in some kind of room.Themen there, t-they beat me and-”Itry to suck in a gulp of air and keep going, “I-Iwas pregnant.I'mso sorry.I'mso s-sorry.”Myeyes start stinging as fresh tears track down my face.Thesalty substance burns the cuts on my fingers asIswipe them away.

“Lorenzo, h-he,”Fuck,Ican’t breathe. “H-he,”Itry to gulp in air but the panic in my body rises and chokes me, making it impossible to take a breath.Myfrantic hands come up and clutch at my neck. “I-Ican’t,H-he,Ican’t-t,”Istutter.Theair must have gone thinner becauseIcan’t seem to get a big enough gulp of oxygen down.

Handscup my face and direct my spiraling thoughts to pay attention to the one holding me. “Ineed you to calm down and take a breath,Blair.Breathewith me, baby.Bigbreath in.”Hemotions taking a deep breath and urges me to mimic him. “Good, now let it out.”Iblow out shakily, trying to do as he says.Heplaces a hand to my neck, his thumb swiping over my thumping pulse.

“Again, little obsession.Breathein.Good.Nowout.That'sit baby, you’re doing so good.Mybrave girl.”Hemurmurs, his thumb continuing the steady pace along my frantic pulse.Hecontinues to show me how to breathe, trying to help me take in some much needed air.Pullingme to his chest, he embraces me.Therhythm of his thumb never wavering.

Whenthe last of my tears have finally dried and the soothing rhythm of his heart brings me peace,Ispeak again. “I’llunderstand.”Isay, “I'llunderstand if you thinkI'mdirty and no longer want me.Iwouldn't want me either,”Ichoke out.Hestiffens under me.Fuck,Iknew it.Iknew he wouldn't want me anymore.God,I’mso fucking-

“Thefirst time was whenIwas 8, '' he whispers.NowIstiffen.Whatis he talking about? “Thefirst timeIwas 8, but it went on for years.”Hetakes a deep breath, the motion moving my head withhis chest.Hisheartbeat picks up and he continues talking.Idon't dare say anything in the fear that he’ll stop.

“Itstarted just after my mother died.Myfather’s friends came around more often.Ialways felt uneasy in their presence.Likemy young mind was trying to protect me from the predators lurking but it didn't matter.”Hepauses, taking another breath.

“Thefirst time was whenIhad been sitting in my mother’s studio, looking at her paintings.Oneof my dad’s friends had come in and sat down to talk with me.Itwas normal at first.Checkingin on me, seeing howIwas handling her death.Ididn’t realize something was wrong until he had placed his hand on my thigh and started caressing it.Iknew it was wrong,” he says, his voice strained, but he continues.

“Thatwas how it started.Touchesthat lingered too long.Eventually, it escalated.Iwould beg him to stop.Iwould cry and beg, but it didn't matter.Hewould smack me or threaten me.H-he would touch me, and make me touch him.Hewould force me to do it until he would finish.Afterthat, he would make m-me, fuck, he would keep touching me untilIwould-”Hechokes, his heart pounding against my cheek.

“Iwas so fucking scared,Blair.Atfirst,Ididn’t understand.Ithought he was trying to comfort me.Hewas an adult and my father’s friend.Itwasn’t untilIspoke up to him that he told me he’d kill my father ifItold anyone.Ihad just lost my mom and as much asIhated him,Icouldn't lose my dad too.Icouldn't.”Peeringup, his eyes are closed and his head is tilted back.

“Byage ten,Ihad been assaulted by three men.Oneof them took more than the others.Tookadvantage of my pain more than them.Tookmy vulnerability and used it for his own sick pleasure.Jameswas away on a business trip, andIwas home alone for the weekend.Hetold me one of his associates would come by and check up on me while he was gone.”Heswallows.

“Hisname wasRoy.Hewas the only one to actually force himself on me.Whenhe came by that weekend,Ihappened to be in the shower.Backin my room,Iwas getting dressed when he busted through my door.Iwas still half-naked and his eyes lingered over my skin a minute too long to play it off as simple concern.Hesaid my dad told him there was an emergency and needed him to spend the night with me for…safety reasons.I’mnot sure if he slipped something in the glass of waterIhad before bed, butIwoke up, unable to move.Ifound myself splayed and laid out on the bed.Ihad no strength and was forced to watch him rape me.EverytimeIclosed my eyes, he would smack me, demanding me to keep my eyes on him.Hegot off on my pain and my fear.”

Ifeel the puff of air as he exhales a deep breath. “Sono, little obsession.Youaren't ruined.Youare not filthy, or broken.Youare mine.Iwill take all of your shattered bits and put them back together.Iwill give you parts of myself to fill the cracks in your empty pieces.Iwill nourish your soul until it feels whole again.”

Mychest cavity rattles as my heart pumps beneath it.Heunderstands it.Heunderstands everything.Inthis moment,Ican’t imagine anyone who would be better for me, my well-being, and my life.I’mhis and he is mine.Together, we will heal the broken bits of one another and come out stronger than before.“I’mso sorry,Emmett,”Iwhisper.Tearsline my cheeks for the little boy who deserved better, for the broken man trying to heal me by giving me his shattered pieces, hoping they’ll fit where mine have cracked.

Heclears his throat once more then speaks. “Jameswas behind everything.Thedisappearances on campus, you getting taken, all of it.”Chillspepper my skin as he continues, “Ihad to watch as they sold you,Blair.Itried to get to you.I’vebeen fighting day and night to get to you.I’mso sorry it took me so long.”

Lookingat him,Ilean forward and place a soft kiss on his cheek.It’snot much, andIcan't find the words to express my gratitude, but it's allIcan give him right now.Hegives me a soft smile, brushing my hair behind my ear.Ishift in my position and lay down, placing my head on his thigh while he continues to sit against the wall.

Afew minutes pass and no words are exchanged, just the comfort of being near each other is enough to put me at ease.Thepromise of safety wrapping me in a blanket of hope.

Fora moment,Ican almost pretend.

Pretendthat we aren't locked and chained to the walls of this basement.

Pretendwe don't have similar scars littering our hearts.

Pretendthat everything was back to how it should be.

Hisvoice starts to drift away as sleep threatens to once again pull me under. “Blair?”Hewhispers.

“Hmm?”Imumble in my fading state.

“Theysay that after someone dies, the human brain can live on for seven minutes, and that in those seven minutes are their best memories.”Itry to pay attention but the warmth of his body andthe feeling of him rubbing my hair drags me even deeper.IthinkIcatch his last words before sleep fully consumes me.

“Myseven minutes would be full of you, my little obsession.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

EMMETT

Therehasto be a way out of here.Lorenzois a fucking idiot.Hecaught me in one vulnerable moment, but it willnothappen again.

Itcan’thappen again.

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