Page 35 of The Smoke Hour

“What does it matter?”

“Would you please just answer the question?”

He sighed and set his fork down. I watched as he finished chewing his meat and then took a sip of his water to clear the food from his mouth. He grabbed the napkin next and dabbed at his thick lips before he set it back on the table.

“No. I don’t always enjoy what I do, but I’m damn good at what I do. It’s necessary, and it pays me out of the ass, so why should I complain? Unlike a lot of people, I’m not ungrateful for what I have.”

“Sorry. Damn. I just thought that you should enjoy what you’re doing. I think everyone should, so they don’t feel like they’re working every day.”

“And that right there is your problem,” Terry replied and pointed his finger at me.

“Please don’t point. That’s rude.”

I was getting upset where I would normally shrug shit off and not allow it to bother me. But a part of me felt that I was being unfair to Terry and that I was picking a fight with him. I knew that had everything to do with the time that I had spent with Smoke, especially in Terry’s absence.

We were scheduled to get married tomorrow afternoon, and here I was, starting shit. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but it wasn’t good. That was for sure. I had promised this man that I would marry him in exchange for him bailing me out of the financial trouble that I created, and now here I was, being ungrateful.

Terry lowered his finger and rested his hands in his lap.

“Look, you’re going to have to change your mindset after we marry, Kaifiya.”

“I’m sorry, Terry.”

“You’re twenty-nine, almost thirty, and you still behave like you’re twenty-one. Your little friends are crashing at your place, having a roommate, and hanging in the club. All that has to stop.”

“My friends are my friends, Terry. I won’t be getting rid of them.”

“Maybe you should see them less. And as it relates to Noel, I don’t think that it’s okay for a married woman to have a male best friend. All that will need to change.”

“Noel’s been here all my life, especially during some rough patches. He’s not going anywhere.”

“You look at everything like it’s supposed to be fun, or… or some damn hobby or something. It’s time for you to grow up. You’re about to become my wife tomorrow, and that comes with a certain look. You’ll have to conform to that image. For example, let’s think about what you said about never having to work. That’s how you found yourself in the predicament that you’re in.”

“Like being married to you?”

His face paled and then turned red. “Is that how you see it?”

“This is a business arrangement, Terry,” I explained softly. “Please don’t behave as if we have had this huge love affair.”

“No, but I was hoping that in time, we could grow to love one another. It’s no secret that I care for you, Kaifiya. You’ve known that for at least a couple of years now.”

“Right. And you are using my business failings to your advantage to trap me into something that you want but I’m not interested in.”

“Is that how you feel?”

I sighed but didn’t reply.

“Where was all this energy when I first brought the proposal to you?”

“Terry, are you kidding me? When you first suggested it, I thought you were joking, and I told you that. And then, when you said that you were serious and that it would give me an out to my financial woes, I told you I needed time.”

“I thought that was because you weren’t ready to become serious so quickly.”

“Terry, we weren’t in a relationship before that. How would you think that I would go from being a business constituent to falling in love and ready to marry you?”

“I didn’t think you would fall in love immediately, but I did hope that it would happen. Now, the way you’re talking, I don’t know what to say.”

I sighed. “Listen, I’m sorry. It’s just all too much. I still can’t believe that we’re about to get married because I came to you asking for a business loan. This is a major life decision that I can’t come back from.”

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