Page 75 of On the Edge

“Just do it,” I grit out.

* * *

Outside the wind lashes the snow against the stone walls, and the tiny particles of ice keep a staccato beat as they clink against the windows. The gales howl, an alto melody to accompany the beat. The curtains are closed tight to keep the warmth in, but outside winter rages. It’s the kind of storm that blankets everything in white, making it new again. A fresh start.

The sound of the voices is so faint I’m not sure if that’s what woke me up, or if it was the storm raging outside. A door creaks open, and I hear footsteps in the hall heading the opposite direction of my room.

I push myself up carefully, relieved that my back already feels quite a bit better. I open the door to the bedroom quietly and peek my head out. The door to Jackson and Marco’s room is cracked open, a thin sliver of light escaping in a narrow beam. At the end of the hall I watch as Marco slips through the door to Christian’s bedroom and then latches it shut quietly.

Oh. I take a deep breath, wondering if this means what I think it might.

I head to the hall bathroom where I remove the ice pack Jackson had taped to my back after the dry needling. I remember her telling me to lie there and relax, though I don’t remember falling asleep and I’m not sure how long it’s been. Probably more than the half an hour she told me to wait before taking my next pain killer. I take one of the pills from the prescription bottle on the counter, then cup some water in my hand so I can swallow it down.

For a few minutes I stand in the doorway of the bathroom, waiting to make sure Marco isn’t coming back. When he doesn’t, I go to the door of his and Jackson’s bedroom and tap bluntly with my finger tip. Nothing happens, so I push the door open a crack and hear the same small whine of the hinges that I heard when Marco opened it earlier.

Across the room Jackson is standing at the French doors watching the storm, but she spins in surprise at the sound of the door opening. I shut it quietly behind me and fix my eyes on hers. My steps are practically silent as I cross the wide-planked floors and come to a stop before her.

I can see her pulse beating erratically in her neck, and I wonder what it means.

“Why did Marco just go into Christian’s bedroom?” I ask, fixing my gaze on those eyes, the color of the hills in her father’s native Ireland. “And why hasn’t he come back?”

She gulps, the force of it moving her entire jaw, but she doesn’t break eye contact. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Nate.”

I take a step closer. She’s less than a foot from me now. “How about the truth for a change?”

Her eyes stay fixed on mine, then slide down to my lips.

“I thought maybe the shared glances between Marco and Christian at dinner were just an expression of how awkward it was that your ex was here,” I tell her. “But now I’m thinking it was awkward because they had to hide something that they wouldn’t have hidden if I wasn’t here.”

Jackson closes her eyes and gives an almost imperceptible nod, so I step closer. Close enough to feel the soft knit of her pajamas. Close enough to feel her breath on my neck. Close enough to notice that her nipples harden under her lightweight pajama top as my proximity increases. “Tell me honestly,” I say, my words barely above a whisper, “are you in love with Marco?”

“I’ve never told you I was.”

“That’s not an answer, Jax,” I tell her, brushing her hair behind her shoulder and resting my hand on her neck. She rolls her head back, looking up at me and sighing.

“No, I’m not in love with Marco,” she says. “Never have been.”

I take that small step toward her so our bodies are flush with each other. I need to feel her pressed up against me and I need her to feel what she does to me. I take in her heavily lidded, hungry eyes, notice the way her mouth is parted open. “So is that why you’ve been looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you want me naked.”

“Have I?” she asks as she shifts her weight so her breasts move along my chest. It’s all I can do not to maul her. It’s been so fucking long and I want her so bad.

“It’s the look you’re giving me right now,” I tell her as I stroke her neck with my thumb. “And in Levi and Big Sky, and a hundred moments in between.” I dip my face toward hers, dragging my nose along her jawline until my lips find her earlobe. “Unless I am misinterpreting this?” I whisper, my breath caressing her as she rubs her cheek along mine. I know I’m not misreading the situation, but I need to hear that she wants this too.

A shiver runs through her whole body at the same time she groans—a throaty, needy sigh of pleasure. “Not misinterpreting.” She sighs, rolling her hips into mine. “But I’m scared, Nate. I’m scared you’ll hurt me again.”

I straighten up, pulling back enough to cup her face in both my hands. I take a deep breath, appreciating that finally there are no walls between us. “I’m committed to spending every day of the rest of my life doing exactly the opposite.”

CHAPTER20

JACKSON

Coravara, Italy

I didn’t know how badly I needed to hear those words until they’re out of his mouth. I stand there for a second, just staring at that beautiful face with the razor sharp cheekbones, his straight nose with a perfectly flat bridge, those full lips. He is perfection, and for some reason, he has never stopped wanting me.

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