Page 97 of On the Edge

That picture is replaced by a picture of the two of us when we were teenagers, out on the same deck she was just standing on at the beginning of the video. There’s a fleeting moment where I wonder how we were so young, just babies really, and I already knew then that I wanted her in my life forever. That thought sinks to the pit of my stomach like a lead weight.

“However, the other reason that Blackstone will always be home, is because it’s where I learned how to love.” A slideshow of pictures of us continues as she says, “Nate came into my life when the only thing I cared about was skiing, and he taught me that achieving your goals and living out your dream is so much sweeter when you have someone to share those ups and downs with.”

By now, we’re into pictures of us when she was racing on the World Cup in our early twenties. “Nate and I planned our lives together, but we were young and it turns out I was a little too determined and a little too focused on my goals. I let the best thing I ever had slip right out of my hands.” The picture of her crash at Val d’Isère makes me visibly flinch, like it always has, but it’s quickly replaced with photos of her in the hospital—giving a thumbs-up even though she’s so bruised and scabbed up she’s hardly recognizable, learning to walk again after her hip surgery, and one where she’s sleeping with a stuffed penguin.

“You might think I’m talking about the crash that ended my racing career, but I’m not. I’m talking about the five years after that, the ones I spent without Nate in my life.” The video cuts over to footage of her wearing a sexy black dress, and ... my eyes scan from the projection screen to the room because in the video she’s definitely standing in this lodge and it’s already decorated for tonight’s event. Does this mean she was here earlier? Is she still here?

“The reality is, when you’ve been loved the way Nate loved me, there is no way to fill the void that’s left when it’s over.” She takes a fortifying breath and looks straight at the camera. Her chin is dipped and her green eyes are glassy. “Nate, I’m going to be more honest right now than I’ve ever been. You told me that you wanted what we had, but better ... the evolution of the life we’d planned together. I need you to know that I want all those things too, and I want them with you. I’ll never stop wanting that, even if sometimes I am stubborn or get scared and pull away. Loving you has always been the driving force of my life,” she says, and I can feel the tingling in my nose as a lump takes up residence in my throat, and goddammit I willnotget teary-eyed in front of this whole fucking room, no matter how long I’ve waited to hear her say this.

The next words out of her mouth absolutely floor me.

CHAPTER25

JACKSON

Blackstone, New Hampshire

From my hiding spot in a darkened hallway at the back of the lodge, I’m torn between keeping my eyes on Sierra and watching Nate’s reaction to this video. He hasn’t stormed out of the room, which I was afraid might actually be a possibility. Instead, he’s stood in the same spot since my face first appeared on the screen as if he’s grown roots and can’t move. I pray that’s a good sign.

I swing my eyes back to Sierra and she gives me the signal I’ve been waiting for.

I slip out into the room at the back of the crowd, cringing a little as I watch myself on the screen in front. “I want to still be loving you when I’m eighty. I want to watch our kids and our grandkids learn to ski at this mountain we both love.” I start walking forward, weaving my way through the crowd until there are whispers all around me and the crowd parts. I arrive at the front of the room right as, on video, I tell Nate, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Nate Davenport. If you’ll still have me.”

He turns back to the front of the room, freezing when he sees me standing there only a few feet from him. There’s a moment when our eyes lock but neither of us move, where I’m afraid that it’s not enough. That I’ve waited too long to finally say yes to him. That despite the distance we’ve come and how intertwined our journeys have been, that we still won’t have what it takes to cross the finish line together.

Then Nate steps forward, holding his hand out toward me. I want to jump into his arms, but I step forward until we’re toe-to-toe, ignoring all the whispers behind me.

Nate drops his forehead to mine. “I’ll only say yes on one condition.”

“Anything,” I say, and I mean it. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this man.

Nate clasps my hands in his and pulls his head back to look me in the eyes. His voice is strong when he says, “I’ve known I wanted to marry you for a decade. And I’ve almost proposed so many times I’ve lost count. So here’s my condition—I will propose to you, and when I do, I need you to finally say yes.”

My eyes are locked on his so I’m not sure if he notices my smile. “Pretty sure I just proposed to you.”

“I heard no question there. I’ve been waiting for years, you’re not taking this opportunity away from me.”

I can’t hold back any longer. I launch myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck and he lifts me off the ground. All around us, people are clapping and cheering, but as he slides me down his body until my feet hit the ground, I hardly even notice them. They’re just background noise preventing him from hearing my response.

“Yes,” I say, looking up at his face. I bring my hands around to his face, cup his jaw in both hands, and bring his mouth down to mine. My lips brush his softly before I whisper, “When you propose, my answer will be—a thousand times—yes.”

EPILOGUE

JACKSON

Four Months Later

Blackstone, New Hampshire

I pull into the parking lot, which is one big mud pit now that the snow has melted and the ground is thawing, when my phone buzzes with a text.

Nate:I’m running a few minutes late. I’ll meet you inside.

Even though it’ll probably only be a few minutes until he’s here, I hate that anything is keeping him from me. He’s been gone for the past three months, and I need to see him in the same way I need air to breathe.

After spending New Year’s together, he headed back to Europe to finish the season. I flew over twice to visit him, and I would have liked to have been there for more of his races, but my life has mostly been consumed by this project at Blackstone.

We broke ground over a month ago, in early March, and since then the hotel has looked like a steel skeleton rising out of the mud pits of northern New Hampshire. Every time I traverse the dirt road that will eventually be paved and landscaped and serve as a fitting entrance to the hotel we’re building, I hope to see more progress. And today, it happened. Our hotel now has exterior walls wrapped in breathable “house wrap” to protect it from the inevitable spring rains. In the last month alone, I’ve learned more about building codes, structural engineering, roofing materials, and weatherproofing than I ever thought I’d know in a lifetime. And that’s just for the exterior. I’m excited to move on to the interior once the windows go in, and the plank siding and stone accents go up. I can’t wait to see our vision become a reality.

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