Page 67 of One Last Shot

Not yet, I decide. I’ll wait until we meet with the immigration lawyer and I have more info.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” she asks.

“Sorry, just lost in my own thoughts,” I say. “This is all a lot to process.”

“Petra, you’ve had over a month to process this. Has something changed?”

Everything’s changed.“No.”

“Okay, good. Listen, I really need you here this week. The studio wants to film some promo stuff and there’s an opening on Friday. So get your ass down here.”

“No,” I say, my voice firm. Obviously, there’s no way I can leave New York this week. Sasha isn’t even back from Philadelphia until the end of the week, and I’m booked on a flight back to Park City Sunday afternoon. “There’s no way I can be in LA by the end of this week. Late next week, probably.”

“Petra, Ineedyou here this week.” She’s not asking.

“You don’tneedme, Charley, youwantme. There’s a difference.” I’m not under contract yet, so she can’t force me to come to LA early.

“The sooner we get the promo material filmed, the sooner we can start advertising.”

I’m sure that’s an important aspect of the show’s success, but there’s no way I can be in LA this week and she’s just going to have to accept that. I let a disapproving “Hmm” come out, then tell her, “I’ve already given you my answer.”

“I’m starting to get worried about your level of commitment. Have you at least signed a lease down here?”

“No, I haven’t found a place yet,” I tell her. That’s on the agenda for next weekend when I’m down there. “I saw a promising little house online, but I want to go see it when I get there.”

“Just make sure it’s close to the studio.”

I laugh. “Well, obviously, I want to be as close to you as humanly possible.”

“Just get your ass down here and nail down a lease, and I’ll feel much better about all this. I’ll be able to stop worrying that you’re actually a flight risk. I hope you know how much I’ve stuck my neck out for you to make this happen. Iknowyou’re the right person for this show. Now we just need to show those stuffy execs that I’m not wrong about you.”

Why does it feel so wrong to be doing something so right? This show is the right choice, I know it is. I’d hemmed and hawed about it when deciding, but once I commit to something, I’m all in. That’s why I have been completely upfront with Sasha about not being able to stay in New York—I know it’s impossible. But now I’m extremely torn. I’m starting to wish I hadn’t committed to this show. Because if this commitment didn’t exist, I might want to stay in New York a bit longer, to see if what’s developing between Sasha and me now, as adults, is real and worth fighting for.

“You are still in, right?” Charley asks when my thoughts have kept me silent for too long.

“Of course,” I say. The words come out with far more certainty than I feel.

“Good. Please don’t prove me wrong here, Petra. You are going to be amazing. I’m not sure why you still seem so unsure.”

“I have never liked being in the public eye,” I admit.

“You were an Olympic skier and then a model. You literally lived in the public eye for like ten years.”

She says this like I need the reminder. “I know, and it wasn’t good for me.”

“What do you mean?”

It already feels like I’ve said too much, and I don’t even know where to start my explanation. “Nothing. I was younger then, and the attention was all too much.”

“Well, you are older and wiser now. You’ll be fabulous.”

“I already am fabulous.”

This gets me the laugh I was expecting, breaking the tension of the moment.

“That you are,” she agrees.

I glance at the time on my clock, realizing Sasha needs to leave any minute and I don’t want to miss saying goodbye. “I have to run. I’ll see you in LA in a little over a week,” I tell her. “Right on schedule.”

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