“Relationships take time and constant work, Petra,” she assures me, “even with me and Beau. Yeah, we started out as an explosion and I took ahugeleap, leaving my job to follow him after only a few weeks, but we didn’t stop working on our relationship then and we haven’t stopped yet. We’restillgetting to know each other, figuring out how to argue without fighting, how to work through big, scary feelings without pushing each other away, and loving each other despite our flaws. It’s work, and it’s always going to be work, but it’s worth it.”
In every relationship I’ve ever been in, I’ve felt like I was the only one doing the work. But for the first time, I feel like maybe we could be in this together—equally, as partners. We’ve only ever talked about our marriage from the perspective of him adopting Stella. Even though I know we both have real feelings for each other, we’ve never talked about what happensafterhe adopts her. Does he still want to get divorced and go on his way, or does he want this to last?
I take a deep breath, because before I talk to him about what he wants, what he sees in our future, I need to figure out what I want. Could I really settle down with one person? Am I ready to be a mom? Can I put my heart on the line, loving not only Aleksandr but also Stella?
This relationship is the antithesis of everything I’ve ever wanted, but somehow it still feels like it could be exactly right just the same.
CHAPTER22
PETRA
As I navigate the twisting mountain roads leading up to the house Lauren and Josh built overlooking the valley, I try not to worry about how much more I have to do before I drive down to LA tomorrow.
I’ve been so busy that I don’t think I’ve slept more than four or five hours a night since coming home, but that means I also haven’t had time to dwell on the situation with Aleksandr. I haven’t had time to cry since getting off the phone with Sierra on Sunday afternoon and launching into work mode. And it’s better this way. It’s better to be busy.
Morgan found me a great house on Airbnb, so I’ve rented that for the next couple months. I’d thought I’d wait until I got down there to find a place, but this is less taxing on me at a time when I don’t feel like I could take one more thing. I’ve spent the last two days getting everything set up at work: assigning different members of my team to be the official point person for each of the events we’ve taken on, getting Morgan up to speed with all the finance-related parts of the business so she can take care of some of that for me while I’m gone. It still feels like I’m juggling a hundred more balls, and I’m worried I’ll drop one of them and they’ll break. But I’m sure once I’m settled in LA, this will all feel more doable.
I pull up the driveway to the beautiful wooden mountain house Josh designed, marveling at the huge windows and their view of the valley, and park in front of the three-car garage.
The second my car is in park, my phone buzzes with a text message. It’s from CeCe, which is funny because I didn’t even realize that I had her number in my phone. It must have been from years ago, back when we had the same circle of friends in New York.
CeCe:Hey Petra! Tony and I miss Stella. Alex is so unaccommodating about us visiting her. Think you could talk to him about that?
A shudder of revulsion runs through me. The way we left things after their last visit, I can’t believe she’d dare ask. There is something just not right about Tony. The way he looks at Stella gives me the creeps, and the thought of her having to see them again, much less ever ending up with them, is almost enough to make me hop on the first flight back to New York just to protect her myself.
I don’t respond. Instead, I start a text to my favorite private investigator friend.
Petra:I know you haven’t heard from me in a while, but how would you feel about helping an old friend out?
Alicia: Girl, you’re my favorite person to help out. What do you need?
Petra:Are you opposed to getting dirt on high-profile assholes?
Alicia:Last name, please?
Petra:Gionetti.
Alicia:Like shipping tycoon Gionetti?
Petra:His son, Tony. He’s married to a friend’s deceased sister-in-law’s sister (long story). I need you to find a reason he would not be a suitable guardian for the deceased sister-in-law’s young daughter. Or find something on Tony’s wife, Cecelia. Anything that could be used to prevent them from seeing her or ever getting guardianship.
Alicia:Happy to help. I have a few other priority cases right now. On a scale of one to life and death, where does this fall?
Petra:Not life and death, but ASAP?
Alicia:On it. I’ll get back to you when I have something.
Petra:You really are the best, and the best at what you do.
Alicia: I know. You take care of yourself.
Petra: You too, thanks!
I throw my phone in my purse, relieved to know Alicia is looking into this for me. After what she was able to find on Ryan back when he was stealing from me and others, I’m confident that if there is something to find here, she’ll dig it up. And I will have something that can help Aleksandr even if I can’t be there in person to help.
“You’re here!” Lauren says when she flings open the front door and meets me on the wide front porch. Her red hair hangs well past her shoulders and with her flat riding boots on, she barely comes up to my shoulders. I wrap her in a hug and she says, “I missed you. First, you desert me for three weeks, and now you’re moving to LA?”
“It’s just for a couple months,” I tell her as I pull back and look down at her. She’s wearing a lightweight black sweater dress with a deep V-neck and it shows off her creamy skin and motherly curves perfectly. “Also,” I tell her, “that dress is sexy as hell on you. Motherhood gave you a great rack.”