Page 64 of On the Line

“I’d rather go out while we’re still winning. Nothing lasts forever, and it’s time for me to train the next generation of coaches. I’ve got one assistant coach in particular, this kid Justin”—at the mention of my ex’s name, Jameson’s hand slips onto my bare leg, his thumb stroking the outside of my knee—“who was on my team when we won back-to-back championships over a decade ago.”

Those two years cemented Justin’s status as a living legend in our small town. It’s part of the reason I’ve never told anyone how things really ended between the two of us.

And now, I watch both my parents notice Jameson’s hand on my knee at the mention of Justin’s name. My mom’s eyes meet mine, and she gives me a little smile. I can tell she’s happy for me. I’m trying to figure out my dad’s perspective when the music starts playing, and everyone turns toward the back door.

I hadn’t even noticed that my cousin and his groomsmen had moved to the front of the church, and that’s just fine, because for the rest of the service I intentionally look anywhereexceptat the groomsmen. And yet, I feel Justin’s eyes on me the whole time, like the creep that he is.

* * *

Dinner is almost over when the bride and groom have their first dance. It’s been a bit surreal sitting here in the clubhouse at the golf course Justin worked at in the summers while we were dating. I have so many memories of this place, and it makes me nauseous that they all revolve around being here with my ex.

Jameson’s arm snakes around my waist as we stand there watching the bride and groom. He squeezes me to his side and drops a kiss on my head. I’m surprised yet relieved at how natural it feels to be here with him.

I was worried everything was going to be awkward, but my brothers have talked to him nonstop about hockey, peppering him with questions about what it was like to play for the Rebels and what it’s like being an agent for some of the biggest names in the sport. He and Paige have bantered, her giving him shit about everything from his expensive suit to the way he hasn’t even finished his drink, whereas most of us have had a couple.

“He’s staring at you like a total stalker,” Jameson says quietly enough that no one will hear him over the music. I know he’s talking about Justin—I’ve felt his eyes on me all night.

“Yeah.” I step in front him and he wraps his arms around me as he anchors my body to his. I keep my voice equally quiet when I say, “I don’t know what his problem is. He wasn’t like this in high school.”

“What was he like?”

I give a little shrug as I look up at Jameson and quietly tell him, “Everyone loved him—teachers, parents, our peers. He was a good student, a three-sport athlete, and he worked at the kids’ camp at this golf course in the summer. I don’t know, he was just, like, an upstanding guy.”

I’m not sure what he sees in my face when I say this, but he takes two steps backward, bringing me with him so we’re farther from our table. “But?”

“But he was cheating on me with my best friend. And when I found out about it and confronted him, he ...” I pause to think about how to explain what happened, because at the time it didn’t make sense at all. “It was dark, we were outside his house because he was walking me to my car. I told him I knew about him and Kenzie, and he vehemently denied it. When it was clear that I didn’t believe him, and wasn’t going to give him another chance ...” I look around to make sure no one might overhear us. “... I turned to get in my car and wound up face-first on the ground.”

“What?” Jameson’s voice is like a knife slicing through the air, and I’m relieved we’re back against the wall and not still at the table where he could be overheard.

“I don’t know what happened. When I looked up from the ground, Justin was standing over me, asking if I was okay. He said I must have tripped. I don’t know ... I think I was still pretty traumatized by that fall at Nationals, because this felt the same. Like the ground had just evaporated beneath me. I couldn’t help but think he’d tripped or pushed me on purpose. But I also couldn’t prove it.”

“If he lays another hand on you, Lauren—”

“It’s fine,” I say, looking up at him and giving his forearms a squeeze. “I don’t know for sure that hedidlay a hand on me. And he’s certainly not going to here, with our families and friends andyouaround.”

“He’d better not.” I’ve never heard this tone from him before. He sounds intimidating as hell.

I turn in his arms so I’m facing him, and run my hands down the lapels of his suit jacket. “Hey,” I say, my voice soothing because I can tell I’ve riled him up with this story. It’s exactly why I’ve never told anyone from home—it’s not worth the discord it would cause. “Let’s go dance.”

Jameson glances past me, at the dance floor, like he’s just noticing that the music has changed and other couples are now dancing with the bride and groom.

“All right,” he says, taking my hand and leading me out to the center of the room. Once there, he wraps one arm around my lower back, pulling me to him, and slides his other hand under my hair along the back of my neck. His touch feels possessive. “I like you in heels,” he says. “It makes you a normal height.”

“Hey, my height is totally average,” I say with a laugh. “It’s not my fault you’re so big.”

His head dips closer to mine as he drops his voice low, then says, “You’ll get used to how big I am. Don’t worry.”

Theget used toimplies so much more than just sleeping together, and I know what he said earlier, but half of me is worried that he was just trying to get me naked.

“I know you said you weren’t looking for casual with me,” I say, choosing my words carefully, “but whatareyou looking for?”

“Are you sure you want to know? Because once I tell you, I can’t take it back.” His words are quiet, his question vulnerable.

“I don’t scare easily,” I say, studying his face and hoping he feels comfortable being honest because we can’t move forward if he isn’t.

“You,” he says and takes a deep breath, “are the biggest risk I never took, and I’ve regretted it for five years. I’m not making that mistake again.”

It feels like my heart skips a beat in that moment as I stare at him, feeling like he’s answered all my questions and none of them at the same time.

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