Page 70 of On the Line

Boston, MA

I hate events like this, but I know they are a necessary evil. This awards night is like the who’s who of the professional sports world. At least half my players are here, along with US athletes from every other professional sport, so I’m here too.

I’m standing near the corner of the bar nursing my drink, with my eyes trained on the doors leading onto this roof-deck. I want to see Lauren the minute she arrives. I won’t be able to touch her—not with her uncle here too—but maybe I’ll tell her she’s been the only thing on my mind for the last twenty-four hours.

Then, this week, I’ll talk to Carson. If he knows my intentions with Lauren are genuine, maybe he’ll be okay with it? I’m sure he meant well years ago when he warned me that touching her would cost me my job. Back then, she was fresh out of college, too young and wholesome for a guy like me. I didn’t deserve her, then. But I could be someone who deserves her now. And if my being with Lauren is an issue for him, well, maybe I will put my plan to start my own agency into hyperdrive.

My phone vibrates repeatedly in my pocket, and I slide it out to see who’s calling. Audrey. I consider not answering so I don’t miss Lauren when she walks in, but Audrey never calls—texting is more her speed—and the fact that she’s reaching out on a Saturday night during her second weekend back at college is concerning.

“What’s up?” I ask, holding the phone tight against my ear to hear her over the din of all the people milling about. I take a few steps away from the bar, and turn my back on the room.

“Where are you?”

The question has me on high alert. “I’m at an event for work. What’s going on?” I ask, and then she’s sobbing. “Audrey, what the hell is wrong?”

“Jesus, Jameson, give me a second,” she chokes out. There’s ragged breathing, but she doesn’t say anything else.

“Are you okay?” Goose bumps have erupted down my spine and my heart is pounding. If someone hurt her, I’ll fucking kill them.

“Yes. And no.” She pauses. “I’m pregnant.”

I swear I see black, like tunnel vision, the way they say happens before you faint. But I stand there, one hand braced against the wall and my phone in the other, willing myself to breathe.

“It’s going to be okay,” I tell her, despite how I’m feeling about this. “How long have you known?”

“I just took a test like five minutes ago.”

“Okay,” I say, then take a deep breath. “How does the dad feel about this?”

“I don’t know.”

“You haven’t told him?”

She pauses. “Like I said, I just found out. You were my first call. But, Jameson, I don’t think he’s going to be interested in being a dad.”

I press my lips between my teeth and talk myself out of punching the brick wall I’m leaning up against. “I’m going to kill him.” I barely get the words out, but I mean them with the intensity of a thousand suns. If this jackass doesn’t want his own child, I will end him.

“You probably would, which is why you’ll never know who he is. Doesn’t matter anyway, I’ll love this baby enough to make up for his absence.”

“You’ve already decided to keep it?”

“Of course I am! But I’m so scared, Jameson.”

“You won’t be doing this alone,” I tell her. “You’ll always have me and Jules.” I’m immensely grateful in this moment that Jules is just across the river, starting her freshman year at MIT, and that she didn’t choose to go far away to school.

“I know,” she says. “And it’s the only reason I’m not absolutely terrified right now.”

I close my eyes against all the thoughts flooding into my head. This is about her and making sure she feels supported. There’s no space for my selfishness here. It doesn’t matter that, after dropping everything to raise my sisters and now finally having both of them off at college, I’m suddenly facing the prospect of helping raise another kid.

Me, who never wanted kids, who had a vasectomy years ago to make sure I never ended up with a child.

I will doanythingfor my sisters, just like I always have.

“You’re not saying anything,” Audrey says, filling the silence.

I open my eyes just in time to see Lauren walk onto this roof-deck. She’s wearing a short, green dress that I already know will make her eyes look turquoise, and the sight of all that skin is doing crazy things not just to my body, but to my heart too.

Shit. Is this what it’s like to actually care about someone who’s not family?

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