Page 71 of On the Line

Lauren glances around but doesn’t see me, and she slowly walks in the opposite direction, away from me.

“I’m still processing all of this,” I respond.

Maybe the reason I’m having trouble coming up with words is because I’m busy considering all the ways I’ve failed my sister. Was I too distracted with work, or too focused on Lauren, to see what was happening here? And if I can’t even be there for them, can’t protect them from things like this happening, how could I ever be the person Lauren needs?

In my head, I’m also running numbers. There will be a lot of costs—a nanny so she can still finish her undergrad degree and then go to architecture school, a car to drive the baby around in, all the supplies for the baby, not to mention the college tuition for both my sisters that I’m currently paying out of pocket.

And right now, as I’m spinning all of these huge changes in my mind, feels like the worst possible time to take any risks, no matter how much I want to. And I see what I have to do: stay at Kaplan, no matter what. It’s the only safe path forward to make sure my family is taken care of.

This thing with me and Lauren ... it just can’t happen. I can’t risk pissing Carson off right now. I can’t risk my job and the security it provides.

Maybe in another year or two I can start my own agency—things will be more settled then. But it’s too risky right now. And I can’t ask Lauren to wait around for that long.

“We can talk about this more when I see you,” she says. “How about I come home for dinner tomorrow night? I’ll see if Jules wants to come too.”

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything between now and then.”

“Just cook me something delicious for dinner tomorrow. Right now, nothing sounds good except for pasta.”

“I’ll make your favorite pasta, then,” I say. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I slide my phone back in my pocket and look up to check if I can see Lauren, when Josh Emerson approaches. “Hey, Jameson,” he says, stretching out his hand. “Good to see you.”

“You too,” I say, willing myself not to look past him. He’s a professional skier, and a good guy—if you like the all-American, preppy, golden boy vibe. He’s nice enough and everyone seems to love him. He was also one of my first clients back when I was a new agent. It was actually his parents who hired me to manage their adult son’s career, because he’s nothing if not a mama’s boy. “What’s going on?”

“Just gearing up for the season. Have to head home next week to see my parents, then I’ve got a trip, then I report for training next month.”

“How are your parents doing?” I ask, because it would be rude not to, even though I don’t really give a shit about the answer.

My eyes are now scanning the room, looking for Lauren. I need to talk to her. Now that I have no choice but to stay at Kaplan, I have to call things off with her. I can’t risk Carson finding out—even the fact that we had dinner together last night could set him off.

Besides, I remind myself, she wants things I’m not capable of giving: marriage and kids. That’s not my path.

I got carried away last night—it was stupid and reckless of me to pretend that I could be the person she wants, or that she would want me as I am.

“Same old,” Josh sighs. “Mom’s pressuring me to settle down and get married. She wants grandkids.”

“Oh?” That has me focusing back on him. “Who’s the lucky lady?

“Don’t know.” He shrugs and gives me a sheepish smile. “I haven’t met her yet.”

“You’re thinking about marriage and you don’t even have a particular person in mind?”

“Nah.” He rakes his hand through his light brown hair, and his dimple appears as he looks at something or someone beyond me. “But if I met the right person, maybe.”

“Hi.” The sweet sound of Lauren’s voice behind me has my spine stiffening.

I turn toward her and try not to let my breath catch. She looks even more phenomenal up close. Her long red hair hangs in loose waves, her lips are the shade of red every man dreams of having wrapped around his cock, and her dress hugs her body in a way that has my imagination running astray.

All I want to do is wrap my arm around her, guide her right out those doors and back to my place, then slip those tiny straps off her shoulders and let that dress fall to the ground.

But none of that can happen. Not anymore.

“Hey.” I turn back toward Josh, not wanting to introduce them but seeing no other option as they’re both standing here. “Josh, this is Lauren Manning. She works with me at Kaplan.”

Josh gives her the same smile he always gives the camera when he finishes a race, and I don’t miss the way he eyes her appreciatively.

“Nice to meet you, Josh,” Lauren says, her voice professional as she stretches her hand out to shake his.

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