Page 85 of On the Line

“Of course not,” I say. “She probably wasn’t trying to get caught red-handed with a married man.”

“The bad news,” she continues, her thumb hovering over her phone as she speaks, “is that she was supposed to be on the ski trip with him in November.”

“Wait,what? How do you know?” I ask.

“A couple days before the trip, she posted a picture saying she had the flu and wasn’t going to be able to go. The weird thing is, she doesn’t look sick.”

“Can I see?” I hold out my hand toward her.

“Do you really want to?”

I get what she’s asking. Do I really want to see the woman who was in a relationship with my husband while we were still married? The one he was starting to build a life with in this house?

Do I?I pick up my margarita and take another huge gulp. The tequila burns going down, but it’s giving me the liquid courage I need.

I close my eyes and hold out my hand, closing my fingers around Jackson’s phone when she places it in my palm. I sit there with my eyes closed, preparing myself to see her face on the screen. And then I open my eyes.

“Oh.” All eyes are on me, clearly waiting for me to say more. “She’s ... really normal. I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.”

I’d envisioned that the woman he cheated on me with must be some sort of a goddess who lured him away. And while this woman is cute, she’s not going to stop traffic. Her light brown hair is slightly longer than shoulder length, she has rosy cheeks and some freckles. She has huge brown eyes and thick lashes, which make her look a little mysterious given her other fair features. And Jackson’s right, she’s makeup free in this picture, but she doesn’t look sick.

I scroll through her feed, post after post of her at work events, out with friends, or skiing. It’s in one of the skiing trips that I first spot Josh. Seeing him—in his ski helmet and goggles with a smile more radiant than anything I saw from him the past few years, so happy in his element on the slopes and free of the responsibilities of being a husband and father—hurts my heart.

So this is what he was doing when he wasn’t home spending time with us. He was off living his best life and fucking someone else. I let the tears fall as I continue scrolling. I find Josh in a few other group pictures, but like Jackson said, there are no couple shots of them.

When I’m done, I pass the phone to Morgan, like I have with all the papers. Then I look around the table at my friends, who are all watching me. And I’m immensely grateful for these women, and the way that being in Boston has brought us all together, new friends and old friends. I am so relieved that I’m not stuck back in Park City by myself. Maybe I would never have known the truth about my marriage if I’d stayed there, but I also wouldn’t be surrounded by my friends and family who showed up tonight to support me.

“How are you doing?” Sierra asks.

Deep breaths.

“I’m ... surprisingly okay.” I look around for a napkin, but finding none, I wipe the tears away with my sleeve, not caring about the mascara streaking across it.

Jules lets out an uncomfortable laugh. “You don’t look okay.”

Morgan smacks her on the arm. “She just found out her husband was cheating on her. Don’t be insensitive.”

“Sorry,” Jules says. “But also, Jameson wanted us to pass on some more information, if we thought you could handle it.”

“Smooth as always, Jules,” Audrey rolls her eyes. “Apologies for my sister’s directness. She spends most days swinging a hammer and bossing people around.”

“Seriously?” Jackson asks. “That’s so cool. I want to hear more about that ... another time.”

“What did he want you to tell me?” I ask.

“He talked to Sophia,” Jules says.

“Oh my God, Jules. Stop. Talking!” Audrey gives her sister a look, then continues, “Because your neighbor mentioned her renovating the house with Josh, Jameson wanted to make sure that she didn’t have any money tied up in it, or wasn’t going to try to claim that she owned some part of it. He wanted to make sure you and the girls were safe in this house, so he called her.”

I nod. Of course he was looking out for me; I shouldn’t be the least bit surprised. But I am. I’ve never had anyone stand up for and support me like he has, and it’s given me the push I needed to do things confidently on my own.

“She told Jameson that she didn’t know Josh was still married. Apparently Josh had told her ...” Audrey pauses.

“Just rip off the Band-Aid,” I say.

“He told her you guys were in the process of getting divorced. She didn’t know he was still married.”

“Oh.” The word squeaks out through the pain. It feels like someone’s stabbed me in the heart. Morgan’s hand finds mine in my lap and she gives me a supportive squeeze. “Is it okay,” I mutter, “to hate a dead man?”

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