Page 86 of On the Line

“In this case? Yes,” Paige says. “But it’s not a good use of your energy and emotions.”

“You’re already moving on,” Morgan says. “And honestly, I’ve never seen you as happy as you have been since living here. Don’t let Josh’s ghost get in the way of your life now. Don’t give him that kind of power.”

“It all sounds so simple,” I say with a sigh. And I wish it was that simple. I wish I didn’t still wake up sometimes in the middle of the night expecting to find him in my bed, only to remember he’s dead. I wish I didn’t see our kids and think about how he’s missing out on their lives. I wish that every time Jameson did something wonderful and supportive, I wasn’t constantly comparing it to how Joshdidn’tdo things like that for me.

He’s not here anymore, and yet he’s always here.

“There’s nothing simple about grief,” Jackson says. “Especially when you didn’t get to say goodbye.”

“There’s one more thing,” Audrey adds. “If you’re open to it, Sophia wants to talk to you.”

A hushed silence falls over the table, the only sound in my house is the white noise machine coming through the baby monitor.

“It’s the only way I’m going to get the answers I want,” I say. “Isn’t it?”

My friends nod grimly. “If you want someone to go with you,” Sierra says, “any of us would be happy to.”

I take another sip of my margarita and consider the offer. Finally, I straighten up and tell them, “This feels like something I need to do by myself. And then, I can finally move on.”

CHAPTER25

LAUREN

“I’m heading out a little early today,” I tell Patrick as I gather my laptop, notebook, and phone at the end of our team meeting. Lots of people came in late today after last night’s event, but not me. I was up all night, unable to shut my brain off and go to sleep. Work this morning was exactly the distraction I needed from my never-ending thoughts about this clusterfuck situation with Josh and Sophia. “I need to head downtown for an appointment.”

“No problem. I’m not sure how you’re not dead on your feet today,” he says. “You did an awesome job last night.”

“Thank you, but we all came together to make it happen.”

“Yeah, but you led the team on this, and after only being here for like a month. Good work.”

I thank him and say goodbye, then head to my office before I go into Boston to meet Sophia.

I only drank the one margarita last night, because I knew I had two messages to send after my friends left, and I wanted a clear head. I texted Sophia late, and she responded immediately, almost like she’d been waiting for my message. We agreed to meet up for a drink after work today.

I wonder if she found it impossible to sleep last night, worrying about this meeting, like me.

Or was I up because I was worried about fixing things with Jameson?

I pull up my texts with him from last night and read through the messages again as I walk down the long, empty hallway to my office.

Lauren

I’m sorry I overreacted earlier tonight. I was furious about Josh, and I took it out on you.

Jameson

I get it. But please know that I was trying to help. I didn’t want to tell you until after the charity game because I knew how hard you were working to make it perfect, and I wanted to have more information before I said anything. I take it you opened the envelope?

Lauren

Yes, and I heard about your conversation with Sophia. Thank you for all that information. I’m actually meeting her for a drink tomorrow after work.

Jameson

Do you want me to come with you?

Lauren

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