Page 103 of Fake Shot

It was beautiful the last time I was here, but we were distracted by the wreckage that was his apartment—and I was so busy trying not to eavesdrop on his conversation with Gabriel—that I didn’t fully appreciate this view.

He gestures to the large sectional couch off to the side. There’s a coffee table with two place settings and heaps of takeout containers stacked there. “I got us Italian.”

We’re sitting on pillows we’ve put on the floor and are almost done with dinner, when I finally work up the nerve to ask the question that’s been bothering me since I first walked in here. “So, are you looking forward to this renovation finally being done?”

Leaning back against the couch, he lifts his arm and rests it along the cushions as he turns toward me. “I’m dreading it, actually.”

“Why?” It springs from my mouth, because his place is beyond amazing and it’s going to be even better than before when it’s done. I know that for a fact because Audrey and I helped him pick all the finishes.

He just stares at me. “Why do you think, Tink?”

My lips part, but the words don’t come. So he reaches up,tracing my lower lip with his thumb as he waits for me to speak.

“Why don’t you tell me, so we can avoid this whole guessing game,” I say, hating the way I can’t make myself admit that Ihopeit’s because the thought of not living with me is tearing him up.

His hand slides from my face to my neck, holding the side possessively, like he’s reminding me I’m his.

“Because I don’t want to be two feet away from you, much less halfway across the city. I don’t want to spend a second away from you that I don’t have to. So no, I’m not looking forward to my place being done, because I don’t plan on moving back in here unless you kick me out.”

My breath is trapped in my lungs, which refuse to expand. Then I take a heaving gasp, and nod out toward the ocean view. “You’d give all this up to live in your fake fiancée’s childhood home?”

“I’d giveeverythingup to be with you. It’s not even a question.” He sighs, his fingers tightening around the back of my neck. “The only way I’m moving out is if we break up. And if you remember, the only way this is ending is ifyoubreak it off.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Then I guess you’re stuck with me . . . and that ring.”

I stiffen involuntarily, and he gives me a questioning look.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you. But I don’t want my inaction to be the reason we stay together.”

“What do you mean?”

“Being together should be a conscious choice, not the default thing that happens because I don’t end it.”

“Isn’tnotending it a conscious choice? We agreed that we’d stay together until the end of playoffs. If we decide to stay together beyond that, isn’t it a choice?”

Shrugging, I pause for a moment as I try to put my feelings, and worries, into words. “Colt... I...” I take a deep breath. “I’ve never done any of this before. I’ve never fallen for someone. I’ve never had sex with anyone. I’ve never been in love. It’s...”

“We’re going to take this slow, because I know that’s what you need. But I want to remind you...youhavedone all of that before.You’ve done it with me. And as scary as you’re finding all of it, just know that I am too.”

“Is this what love feels like? I don’t even know, and I’m not sure you do, either,” I admit. I don’t want us to fall into this because it’s convenient—because we like spending time together, we cohabitate well, and the sex is great. It has to be based on more than that...doesn’t it?

“I was nineteen—a damn child, and a fool one at that—the last time I told someone I loved them,” Colt says. “I thought I knew then what love was, but that wasn’t it. My heart didn’t literally ache when I was away from her. I didn’t spend every spare moment planning ways to spend more time with her. She wasn’t the first thing I thought of when I woke up, or the last person I wanted to see before I fell asleep. I didn’t know what every single sound she made meant...never even thought to catalog that information away like I do with you. So don’t tell me I don’t know what love is. I’ve experienced what itisn’twell enough to know what itis.”

My heart is pounding, in response to his admission, so I lean toward him, resting my head in the hollow where hisraised arm meets his shoulder. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t have these feelings. It’s that I don’t know how to deal with them. Emotions scare me.”

“At least you can admit it.” Stroking the back of my head, he leans down and plants a kiss on top of it. “And they scare me, too. We’re learning, together. I think maybe you just need to remember what you told me last night.”

“What was that?” I ask.

“You said I’d already ruined you for any other man. That I’d shown you how you should be treated, that you can trust me, and that you’re not afraid of letting go of your need to control things when I’m around. And then you said you were going to love me no matter what.”

“Did I really?” My heart feels like my chest is constricting around it. Every word of that is true, but I must have been feeling especially safe and secure to say it out loud. Either that, or sex made me lose my mind.

“I think that maybe,” Colt says as the beginning of a smirk quirks his lips, “you are more honest when you’re naked.”

“Are you trying to get me naked right now?” I ask, eyes narrowing playfully.

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