Page 50 of Cross-Checked

“On top of the nightstand,” he confirms with a nod.

“But sometimes when she gets worked up, you have to rock her until she falls asleep; otherwise, she just stands up in her crib and yells at you until you come back.”

Nicholas smiles as he looks over at Abby. “Yeah, I could see you doing that, cutie.”

The whole scene...him playing with her on the floor, getting her to take steps, not balking at the idea of rocking her until she’s too tired not to sleep...I’m just so damn relieved that he’s there with her, rather than Lucy.

In the corner of the phone screen, I note how AJ’s turned toward me, watching me closely.

“Alright,” I say, “we’ll let you go.”

He says goodnight and Abby blows some raspberries at the phone, and then the call disconnects.

Unable to look at her when I’m this emotional, I lean sideways, resting my cheek against the crown of her head. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Her voice is quiet, and with the sun low on the horizon, the room is quickly darkening.

“For making sure I got to see my daughter’s first steps.”

“I didn’t know they’d be her first when I texted you.” She pauses for a beat and says, “And I wasn’t threatening to keep you from seeing them when I was like,Oh, nowwww you respond...”

“I know,” I say.

“Do you? Because I really want to make sure you know that I’m not the kind of person who would do that. That kind ofemotional manipulation...” She sighs, the motion deflating her whole body so that I have to sit up or I’ll fall over onto her. In response, she looks away, out the window.

“AJ.” My knuckles graze the underside of her jaw as I turn her toward me. Her dark irises blend in with her enlarged pupils so that her eyes are practically black, but it’s not a look of longing. She looks...sad. “Finish that sentence.”

“I don’t...I’m not really sure what I was going to say.”

Like hell she doesn’t. I stroke her jawline with my thumb. “You know you can tell me, right?”

She closes her eyes, but it does nothing to break the moment. It just gives me a minute to study those pouty, wide lips, the ridge of her cheekbones, and the laugh lines at the corners of her eyes. Her hair is pulled back into some sort of messy bun secured with a clip, and I assume it’s the best she could do with one hand.

When she opens her eyes again, she presses her lips together and shrugs. “I spent basically my whole life being emotionally manipulated. I wouldn’t do that to someone else.”

“Tell me more.” I lean back on one elbow, hoping she’ll get comfortable too. Because this tense posture she’s adopted as she sits there with whatever’s going through her mind has her looking like a statue.

She groans and falls back on the bed, looking straight up at the ceiling like she’s afraid to let her eyes dart over to where I’m poised looking down at her.

Which is just as well, because the last thing she needs to see is the way my eyes burn as they take her in, lying in bed next to me. It’s not a sight I ever let myself believe I’d see.

Chapter Twenty

AJ

Iclose my eyes and take a deep breath, wondering why I’m even contemplating sharinganythingwith him, much less giving him such personal details.

“This isn’t . . . something I talk about.”

“With anyone?” I ask.

“With anyone who isn’t Nicholas.”

“You two are really close, huh? Even despite the age difference.”

It’s hard not to laugh at that, because I’m old enough to be his mom. “Yeah, well, my parents treated him like the accident he was, so I had to step in.”

“Shit.” He breathes the word out on a long exhale. “Maybe it’s because both my parents grew up in foster care, or maybe it’s the way my ex so easily gave Abby up, but there’s something about parents abandoning their kid that never sits right with me.”

---