Page 94 of Cross-Checked

“Walsh and Jameson,” McCabe says. “But I need to tell my sister, too.”

He hasn’t told me a ton about Sloane, except that they were really close when he lived in St. Louis but that she moved to Nashville after he moved to Boston, and she has two kids of her own. I don’t know whether she’s married or not, just that he started considering going to Nashville because she’s there.

I probably should have asked more questions when he mentioned that yesterday in the stick room, but I was too caught off guard when I realized that fucking Trevor had lied to both of us. I needed to get out of there before I broke down and told him things about his contract that I’m not ethically allowed to share.

“Lauren and Frank,” I add.

“Frank knows?” Nicholas asks, his eyebrows practically hidden under his messy crop of hair that hangs over his forehead.

“Yeah. The fact that we work together makes things more . . . complicated.”

McCabe quirks an eyebrow at me, and I’m wishing I could have told him about my conversation with Frank before having this conversation in front of Nicholas and Nicole.

“But Frank’s okay with it?” Nicholas asks.

“Yeah, but...you know what? I just talked to Frank this afternoon. And we...” I nod at McCabe, “...haven’t really had a chance to catch up about that discussion yet. How about I update you guys later, after we’ve talked.”

“Of course,” Nicole says, standing. “Let’s get going.”

“But there’s still all this cleaning up to do,” Nicholas says as he puts the container of leftovers into the refrigerator.

“You cooked, so I’m on cleanup duty,” I remind him, taking a few steps toward him so I can literally usher him out of my kitchen. “I’ve got it.”

“But...” he starts, and Nicole widens her eyes at him, indicating that he needs to take the hint and leave. I wink at her. Sometimes he can be oblivious to subtle social cues like that.

“Let’s go, hon.” Her voice leaves no room for argument, and he follows her as she heads toward the door, only stopping to give me a quick kiss on the cheek and turning to McCabe, confirming what time he’ll be back in the morning to watch Abby.

When they’re gone, my condo suddenly feels small. I don’t know why I’m nervous about telling him what Frank said today, but suddenly my throat is tight.

“Why do you look worried?” he asks, stepping toward me. But with Abby in my arms and Tabitha in his, we’re farther apart than I’d want us to be for this conversation. “Is Franknotactually okay with this?”

“He is, but he thinks we need to keep this under wraps until the season is over. I’m pretty surehewants this GM of the Year award more than I do. He also made some compelling arguments about how our relationship might distract the team, potentially causing rifts at a time when you need to be as united as possible?—”

His brow creases. “He thinks that my teammates won’t support us?”

“I think he’s concerned that not everyone will. And since it’s a contract negotiation year for you, some people might...”

“...think I’m taking advantage of you? Or of this situation?” He fills in when I pause.

“Yeah.”

“You know, that thought never actually occurred to me,” he says, his tone bitter. “The idea that my teammates might think I’m the kind of person who’d get into a relationship with my boss for financial gain...” He trails off before he lets out a huff of a laugh while rolling his eyes. “I didn’t know they thought that poorly of me.”

“I’m sure they don’t.” Reaching out, I run a hand along his bicep before returning to rubbing Abby’s back. “I’m sure Frank is just trying to anticipate any and all potential issues.”

His throat bobs with the effort of swallowing down his pride. “Yeah, I guess waiting until the season is over probably makes the most sense, then.”

I note the way his words and his tone don’t match up. And how his teeth are clenched, like it’s taking a lot of effort to be okay with this. He has that hard, jaded look I seldom see anymore. Yesterday, he said he thought we should wait until the season was over. But maybe now that I said I don’t want to hide this anymore, he started to...hope?

Is that what pretending does to him? First, pretending like he didn’t have feelings for me. Now, pretending so no one finds out how real those feelings actually are?

“I don’t want to,” I say.

His eyebrows shoot up in response to my curt response. “What?”

“Keeping this a secret,” I say slowly, working my thoughts out in my mind at the same time the words tumble out of my mouth, “only makes it look like we have something to hide. Maybe in the long run, that would make the situation worse with your teammates than if you were upfront about it from the beginning?”

“Maybe,” he agrees. “But that doesn’t change the way this will impact your reputation. Frank’s right that you deserve that award, and I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get it.”

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