Page 99 of Cross-Checked

Because if there’s anything this relationship with AJ has taught me, it’s that loveisserious—it feels an awful lot like taking a vow, risking being torn apart, inviting pain.

These feelings I’m having don’t make me proud or gooey, like my teammates sound every time they talk about their significant other. And they don’t necessarily make me feel happy. They make me feel clingy, like I can’t live without her. Like I’d do anything to protect her, give upeverythingjust to be with her. And yet, there’s a lightness I feel when I’m with her that I’ve never felt before—a confidence that everything will be okay in the end.

It has to be love. I don’t know any other way to describe how I feel about her and the sacrifices I’d be willing to make to be with her.

“Ooooooo,” Colt says, his attention averted just as I intended, “you got something to tell us, Hartmann?”

He rolls his eyes as he chuckles. “I don’t do relationships, so, no.”

“Whyisthat?” Zach asks.

“Why is what?” Hartmann responds.

“Why don’t you do relationships?”

There’s a moment when a look flickers across his face, which I have no doubt we all just noticed, before he says, “There are way too many women in the world to settle on just one.”

Zach opens his mouth to respond, when Audrey and Jules show up at our table. I drain the last few sips of my beer, then push my chair back, seeing my opportunity to leave. I can’t fucking wait another minute to get back to AJ.

“Here you go.” I gesture at my chair. “Someone can have my seat. I need to go home so my nanny can leave.” And then I’m out of there before anyone can even say goodbye.

Chapter Thirty-Five

AJ

With forty-eight seconds left in Game 6, we’re tied 1-1. Hartmann’s exuding shitloads of nervous energy in the crease, and I’m sitting up in the luxury box with his family and some of the WAGs, wondering if he needs to be pulled. I took a big risk bringing him to Boston against his father’s wishes. I know he’s going to be a great goalie one day, but I fear that today might not be that day.

Relax, I remind myself.Trust the process.

I’ve hired the best coaches and players I could, and now I need to trust them to do their jobs like they’ve trusted me to do mine.

Next to me, Frank’s hand finds mine, and he squeezes. I look down and see that his other hand is holding his wife’s, so with my opposite hand, I grasp Marissa Walsh’s since she’s next to me. I know what it would mean to her to see her husband go to the finals again. She lives and breathes hockey and has been one of the most avid supporters of this team through the years. She squeezes back, and looking down, I watch her grab a hold of Audrey’s hand, who grabs Jules’s, until we’re a united line standing at the front of this luxury box.

I take a deep breath as one of Philly’s forwards, Mackenzie, takes a shot. It goes wide, and Zach snags the puck before he’s checked into the glass. He doesn’t go down, though. Instead, he bounces back and elbows Mackenzie off him, gaining control of the puck and passing it up to Walsh, who somehow manages a breakaway.

We’re yelling and screaming as he speeds up the ice, across the blue line, with two of Philly’s players trying their best to catch up. The nerves have my stomach in knots as their goalie moves up to challenge Walsh, but he quickly slaps the puck between the goalie’s legs and our fans erupt when the puck meets the back of the net. The home crowd is booing loudly as we hold our arms up in celebration, our hands still connected, cheering our team on.

Twenty-three seconds left. Two shots on Hartmann, both deflected. And then the final buzzer sounds to end the game, and our players fill the ice while Philly’s fans stand there, stunned. After coming on so strong in the first two games, they just lost four in a row to send us to the finals. It’s the most satisfying, perfect end to this series and I could not be more ecstatic.

Everyone in our suite is jumping around and hugging each other, and all I want to do is get down there and congratulate our players, so I slip out through the throng of people celebrating, thanking everyone who congratulates me. And then I’m running toward the one elevator that will take me down to ice level, flashing my badge at the security guard, and impatiently tapping my foot as I wait for the doors to open.

Jules

AJ, you’re coming out with us tonight, right?

Normally after an away game, especially one so close to home, we’d be on a plane home immediately. But tonight,we’re staying over. Given the importance of this game and the likelihood that it would be the one to send us to the finals, combined with most players’ wives and girlfriends being here, the team needed a night of celebration. Our flight tomorrow morning isn’t even at the crack of dawn, like they often are.

AJ

Thank you for the invite, but I don’t normally do things outside of work with the guys. It feels inappropriate.

I laugh to myself when I think about all the inappropriate things I’ve gotten up to with McCabe recently. Jules and Audrey are going to give me so much shit when they find out. I’m actually kind of looking forward to that. It’s nice to have women in my life who aren’t intimidated by me, who treat me like a friend, instead of like their boss.

Jules

But you came out to the Neon Cactus with us a couple weeks ago.

AJ

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