Page 44 of Locke 2

At his silence, I knew I was right.Oh, my God.

“What did you find, Locke?”

To my surprise, he sat down on the edge of the bed. Or more like collapsed down. It looked like his body had given out the way he dropped his head down and ran his hands over his hair. He was close, but I felt the urge to get closer. I resisted as I waited for him to speak. Every second felt like agony.

Finally, he spoke. “There was a lock on his bedroom door. He slept on a hard foam mattress on the floor. There were no bedsheets, just a thin blanket, and there were no toys. Not a single one.” He paused. “There was a colouring book under his pillow. Of dinosaurs. His crayons were neatly packed awayunder his pillow. They were clearly very dear to him. They wouldn’t have been something he would have left behind.”

I listened keenly.

My eyes ached as I thought about the way Lenny’s face had brightened when he’d talked about dinosaurs. I wondered what he looked like when he discovered the colouring book I had snuck into his backpack. He’d given me such a warm look when he’d come to school the next morning. We’d locked eyes, and I briefly felt like he had dropped his little walls down. His dark eyes had held a bit of light in them, and now I worried the light would be gone when Locke found him.

Locke continued, and the words felt like a stab to the chest. “There were claw marks on the wall beside his bed, like he’d scraped through the paint to create a picture of something… and then there were drawings… He’d used the crayons…” Locke paused, like he was gathering himself.

I didn’t realise how close I’d gotten until I felt his suit brush along my bare shoulder. I’d leaned in, peering at his face, trying to catch his eyes, but they were tightly closed.

“Drawings of what?” I whispered.

He didn’t look like he was breathing. “Why did you call on me, Kali?”

I blinked at his gruff response. “I told you—”

“You think because I made it out once that I could somehow make another boy do it, too?”

My heart thumped now. “You know how to save him—”

“So, then I save him,” he cut in sharply. “And then what? He lives with the memories and the cold and the constant reminder of what the monsters did to him? You know what becomes of a boy like that? You’re fucking looking at one.”

I sucked in a breath. “You would leave him?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“If you could go back, would you have preferred to save yourself, or would you have rather someone else did it?”

He froze impossibly still for a moment. Then his face turned to look at me, and in the dark, his eyes looked white and wide. Was he surprised? Or shaken by such a question?

Abruptly, he stood up, and my heart did that quick tha-thump. It made me nervous when he got up because it might signal the end of his visit. But then again, what was the purpose of this visit?

“Why won’t you answer?” I asked quickly, willing him to stay by asking him a question.

“I’ve never thought of what it might be like to have been saved,” he answered, thoughtfully.

“Would it have made a difference?” I pushed, needing to know.

He sighed and spun around to look down at me. “I don’t know, Kali.”

“Just think about it.” My voice trembled. My desperation rushed out of me unexpectedly. I peered up at him, my eyes heavy with unshed tears as I forced a whisper, “Would it have changed things if you knew someone out there cared?”

He watched me intently. “Yes.”

I felt a tear slip. It burned down my cheek. I looked down, breaking our locked gaze, feeling relieved by his answer. “Then yes, I want to save him, even if he doesn’t come out the same.”

I ignored the pull I felt in that moment to look up. Because I knew I’d find Aurora standing by the end of the bed, peering knowingly at me.

“You’re sad,” he stated.

“I am,” I acknowledged.

“Even before this boy disappeared.”

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