Page 115 of Leah

My heart slowed. “I told you I wouldn’t—”

“I’m scarred, too,” he cut in, exasperated. “Iwantto believe you. I’m trying, but we’ve been apart for so long, and I’ve been alone, Leah, so fuckingalone.I’m angry.”

“At me?”

His voice dropped lower. “At everything.”

I mulled his words over, considering his emotions and what it must have been like for him. “You’re…famous, Carter.”

“What does that have anything to do with it?”

“You’re surrounded by people all the time—”

“People who want to use me to elevate themselves or fuck me to stardom—try finding a genuine person in that sort of crowd,” he fumed. “When that plane went down, I felt like I’d wasted it all. I felt like…that was it, I’m going to die, and I’d never truly mattered to anyone.”

“You matter to me.”

His expression was flat as he glanced at me. “You were never planning on coming back, were you?”

I fisted my hands, feeling anxious because… “I wanted to.”

“But?”

“I was scared to feel hurt.”

“But I told you—”

“I know what you told me—”

“I would have never hurt you again—”

“I know, Carter, but I’m damaged!”

“Because of me.”

I just stared at him, feeling helpless because yeah, it was because of him, but I knew at the time he wasn’t ready either.

What a mess this was.

He gritted his jaw and looked away.

Thirty-Six

Leah

Icooked us pasta that evening, trying to ignore the way my heart thumped wildly every time he drew near. We caught each other’s eye often, but we said nothing. That same awkwardness returned, and it felt like a heavy cloud.

I just wanted things to be the way they used to be.

We ate at the table in front of the unlit fireplace, and I stared dreamily at it, muttering, “This place must be a dream in the winter.”

He followed my gaze, nodding absently. “I’m going to buy it, and we can come back in the winter.”

I was speechless, heart warming at the certainty in his words.

We.

He was viewing us like we were a couple.

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