Page 2 of Leah

Nothing but the screams I felt from within.

The fear of death washed over me.

I kicked and swam, not knowing what was up and what was down.

Had I swum in circles?

My lungs ached, my head was dizzy, and my body felt like it’d been pounded by the icy water. I was moving nowhere. God, I was probably swimming in the wrong direction. Deeper and deeper into the water, into the darkness, into death’s mouth.

I’m dying.

I’m dying.

And the worst part of all was I had nothing to think of that could soothe me in death’s arms. Nothing but…her, but she was gone now, and it was all my fault. I pushed her away after burning us alive.

I’ve got nothing.

You can’t take money to your grave. You can’t take awards or fake bitches vying for your attention for the sole reason of being in the spotlight.

None of that means anything to you when you’re knocking on death’s door.

I was going to die a lonely man with a life filled with regrets.

Regrets I would never fix.

What could I have done differently?

A vague curtain of light took over my senses and a sharp breeze whipped past my face. I immediately realized I’d surfaced from the water, and I desperately gasped in the air and coughed. I tasted blood in my mouth, and I swallowed the coppery tastedown. Then I shouted incoherently and spun around in the still water.

I still couldn’t see, but there the darkness was lighter, and I was out.

I’m alive.

One

Carter

Itook her face into my hands, staring into her eyes as she looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes.

This was the girl that never gave up on me.

This was the neighbour beauty that followed me to a creek to listen to me sing, and I was—

I was walking out of her life.

What a fool I am…

I sucked a breath, my eyes raw and aching. I couldn’t stop the tear from leaving my eye, couldn’t stop my heart from jumping out of its chest and falling at her feet.

“I don’t know if I’m making a mistake,” I whispered, being honest with myself for once. “And the problem is, if I am, I’ll probably be too late. You’ve always been wiser than me, Leah. More mature. I’m jealous of you for that. For always being so tough, and for always believing in me. I’m never going to forget that. You’re the only person that’s ever looked at me and saw worth. I’ll be thinking of you every minute I’m gone. I…” I felt a wave of emotion pass over me and stopped to take a few breaths.

“It’s okay,” she whispered.

I didn’t like when she did that: consoled me like my feelings mattered more. Because I knew what this was doing to her, too. I knew she was falling to pieces but putting on a brave face for me.

I nodded, understanding that this was going to be the hardest fucking thing I ever had to do.

When she began to pull back, I felt my heart quicken, felt the panic grip me. I stepped forward, bridging the gap, dropping my face to hers in a desperate attempt to relive our touch.