Page 37 of Leah

“You should ask her. I think it’s a publicity thing because I’m currently red-hot and the label’s loving it. She’ll find some other sucker to stalk. At the moment, though, wherever Alyssa goes, she follows, and she loves the attention. Loves the paparazzi taking photos of us next to each other, so they could go and report their false bullshit. I don’t think I’ve touched her in over four months, when I first started to get to know her—and that was only a brief fling that resulted in her having a mental breakdown because I had to start touring—I’d been with her no more than a couple weeks. Even then, it was light stuff. My heart wasn’t in it.”

I was confused. “But the magazines—”

“Lies, just lies. Never believe a word of them. They’ll do what they can to make a story out of you. One minute they’re on your side, and the next they’re dishing dirt against you.”

He looked at me closely then, a thoughtful smile on his face as he added, “I never took you to be a media slut.”

I shook my head adamantly. “I’m not! I don’t go on those sites or anything.”

Such. A. Liar.

He chuckled, seeing right through me. “You stalk me online, Angel?”

“No!” I looked insulted, like doing that was beneath me, even though it totally wasn’t. “You can live under a rock and still hear things about you, Carter.”

“I guess,” he said softly. “Anyway, Molly’s not going to stick around tonight. She’s got a photoshoot in the morning, or some shit. Her ride’s kicking around. She’ll be gone soon.”

“That’s good.”

He smiled again at my happy remark, and I sighed and added, “I mean, it’s good that she won’t be bothering you.”

“Right,” he muttered.

We stared at one another for a few moments. He pulled me apart with just one look. My body was frightfully aware of him, so completely sensitive to his every move and look. I hadn’t felt this way in… well, over three years.

I didn’t like it, and it needed to stop.

“We should get back—”

“Don’t try and leave,” he then breathed out, cutting me straight off. “I know you want to, but don’t run away.”

“I’m not,” I lied,again.

Looking suddenly conflicted, he said, “I—I missed you.”

I nodded, unsure of why he was looking the way he was. “I missed you too.”

“No.” He shook his head, swallowing hard. “No, Leah, you don’t understand. I…I fucked up. Badly. I let things happen before. I let you slip away from me. I fucked up. I’ve been wanting to come and tell you that for so long now, but every time I try, someone’s stopping me. That’s why I sent the letters. I fucked up, badly.”

I froze as he raised his hand again. He studied me closely, and his hand shook before falling back to his side. He suddenly looked all wrong. Like he was panicky and anxious. This entireconversation was taking a turn I wasn’t ready for. If he was saying what I think he was—

No, no. That wasn’t what I wanted.

“Carter,” I began, “it’s okay—”

“It didn’t take me long to realize how much I’d fucked up,” he went on. “Losing you woke me up, and… I’ve been so fucking lonely, Leah. It’s been a bad kind of lonely. I miss you. I missus.” With another shuddering breath, he neared me again as he said, “I want more.”

Heart fail.

I wasn’t sure how to emotionally grasp what he was saying. All this time I was getting over him, and all this time he was… what? Realizing that he wanted more when it was already too late?

That didn’t make sense to me. In fact, that reminded me of the day he went into my room and told me he wanted tobe with me, and look how that turned out.

Taking a step away from him, I said, “I think you’re just excited to see me, not that I blame you.”

His lips didn’t flinch at my cheap humour.

I sighed. “Carter, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

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