Page 75 of Leah

“I can’t fuck this up,” I whispered to myself. “I gotta fix this…”

She came out minutes later, flushed from the water, in nothing but a towel, smiling at me with this timid look on her face. I patted the bed and she climbed in next to me.

“I see we got dinner,” she said, motioning to the bags of chips.

“Memory lane, baby,” I reminded her. “We had shit back then, remember?”

“True.” She grabbed a bag of potato chips and opened them.

“I got you all the flavours.”

She hid her smile. “So romantic.”

I lightly tickled her, and she wormed away, laughing breathlessly.

We watched some television for a while in comfortable silence. She found her place against my side, resting her head on my chest as she watched and ate. With ease I’d never felt before, I combed through her hair, studying the soft golden strands in between my fingers.

This felt good.

Why had I ever taken it for granted before?

What the fuck was wrong me growing up to think that she’d ever hurt me?

I was such a miserable little dick. This was perfection. There wasn’t some needy girl I had to please. There wasn’t an uncomfortable silence I had to break. I wasn’t the rockstar that a woman was using to advance her own image.

It was just Leah and me.

“You gonna fulfil that fantasy of mine later?” I muttered out with a lazy grin.

“You talking about that trucker hat shit?” she asked, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

“Yeah, that.”

“Maybe.”

I didn’t press her.

We watched for a little while. My hand roamed the side of her body, teasing along her towel line. Her skin was so smooth. Nothing like I remembered. The brain seriously dulls this shit down, probably to make the separation less painful.

“You can’t stop, can you?” she muttered, lightly.

“Touching you, you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

She bit her lip, those cheeks turning pink again.

“I imagined you every time I was with someone, or no one,” I found myself saying when the silence got too thick. “I needed that connection, and I never felt it with anyone else, not unless I pretended they were you. They were horrible replacements.”

“Well, if it makes you feel good, you were right about before,” she replied. “Nobody took care of me the way you do. Sexually, anyway.”

I frowned. “Sexually, but notemotionally. I can do that now, Leah.”

She didn’t respond to that.

Instead, she pulled away from me and leaned over to grab the hat off the nightstand. I watched as she put it on and turned to me, her long hair flowing down her shoulders, looking like a fucking dream. Without another word, she went up on her knees and unfolded the towel.

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