Page 81 of Leah

“This time, we’ll really go our separate ways—”

“You’rethe deluded one all along,” he cut in, shaking his head in defeat. “We’ll never move on. How many more years are you going to let pass before you realize this?”

“The whole purpose was for us not to have to depend on each other—”

“We’re not depending on each other! I’m here because Iwantto be! I don’t need you the way I did before, Leah. Iwantyou, desperately.” His breaths were ragged, his gaze tearing through me. “How can you lie to yourself right now? Where do you draw the strength to let me walk away? I’m giving you what you always wanted. I’m giving you my heart on a fucking platter, and you’re too stuck in the past to accept it.”

When I didn’t respond, his face dropped. “You really have changed.”

“What did you expect would happen?” I retorted, staring hard at him. “You really thought I was living my life here, never forgetting you, always keeping my heart open in case you came back—”

“No,” he cut in, “I didn’t think you were waiting for me, but Ihopedyou were. Do you really want us to go our separate ways again, have empty fucks all over again, and continue this denial shit happening between us?”

“I’m just not ready!” I stressed, face reddening as I reached my limit. “I’m not ready to feel pain again like before! That’s the truth. You keep telling me to move on from the past, buttry telling trauma to fuck back off—it’s not possible. I’m burned, goddammit. I’m scarred, Carter!”

He ran his teeth over his bottom lip, another surge of anger tearing through his features. He dragged a hand through his hair before the defeat shone in his eyes. He got up and left the bathroom. I almost wanted to call him back in, but I stopped myself short.

I didn’t move, not for a long time. I buried my face into my arms, thinking about everything he said. When did my life get so complicated? I wanted simple again. I wanted loneliness because it didn’t fuck me up like he did.

When he returned a half hour later, he simply opened the door a crack and, in a guarded voice, said, “Time to go.”

Dazedly, I gathered my things and put my shoes on, all the while avoiding his eyes. He waited by the door, glancing out the blinds before turning back to me with this lifeless look on his face.

“Ready?” he asked when I finished.

Feeling equally inert, I nodded.

Grabbing the hat off the night table—the same damn hat he fucked me with— he set it over my head, hardly looking at me.

In a monotone voice, he said, “When we go out, don’t speak. Just look down, and I’ll lead the way. I won’t let them touch you. Stick by me and nothing will happen.”

I nodded again.

He took me gently by the hand and put his other hand on the doorknob. “We’re going to go straight through the crowd and into the car waiting for us. Never mind about checking out. I’ll have all of that sorted. Easy?”

“Yeah,” I whispered.

Anxiety made my stomach twist, and I almost pushed him away right then to seek the safety of the bathroom again. Somehow, I pulled it together.

He noticed my twist of emotions, and he sighed, shutting his eyes for a moment to breathe. He was fighting that wall again, but it came down.

“Don’t listen to a word they say,” he added caringly, looking about my face with concern and…affection. “It might get ugly, and the Leah I know doesn’t take ugly, but you’re going to have to.”

“Okay, I will,” I promised.

This was it.

Our moment walking down memory lane was over—

And I felt despair because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to it.

He opened the door a moment later, and nothing could prepare me for the chaos that unfolded. A man barged into the motel with a camera in hand, and he made it only a step before Carter shoved him harshly out the door. The man fell on his back, still desperately taking pictures as we stepped over him. Carter’s grip tightened around me, and I could understand why.

There were people as far as the eye could see, and we were shoving through a bunch of them. I saw faces everywhere. Fans were screaming, men with cameras were shouting so many questions, it made my head dizzy.

“Is this your new love, Carter?”

“Is it true you’ve cheated on Molly?”

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