Page 109 of Leah

I heard quiet footsteps.

Small ones at first, as though the person was tiptoeing.

I didn’t want to open my eyes to see who it was. It would likely be the nurse, and I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to pretend I was sleeping. I’d spent all night in a daze. My soul felt fractured. I kept asking myself the same question over and over again.

Why didIget to live?

They were pulling bodies out of the water, and so far, there were only four other survivors.

None of them Julie.

I wouldn’t know what to do if she died. It wouldn’t seem fair that the one person who helped me out of that plane hadn’t surfaced from the water.

I should have died.

Someone like me shouldn’t have been spared. I didn’t deserve a second chance.

A hand suddenly touched mine lightly. My breath thinned at the softness of her touch.

It felt…intimate.

“Carter.”

My heart damn near stopped.

Leah.

“I’m sorry,” she cried, her hand gripping mine now. “I should have been there for you. I shouldn’t have cut you out. I’m sorry. I love you so much, and I tried so hard to bury it away. To stop myself from hurting. I’m sorry.”

I opened my eyes. The light hit me hard, and I winced, closing them for a moment before trying again. When my vision adjusted, I saw her tear-streaked face.

Beautiful.

Always so beautiful.

Always fate was tempting me with what I couldn’t have, and I didn’t need it right now. Not after all that happened.

I should have been elated to see her, but I wasn’t. I didn’t need any more heartache.

I shut my eyes again. “Don’t,” I muttered out vacantly.

“Don’t what, Carter?”

“It’s been eighteen months since I’ve seen you, Leah. Don’t be coming to me just because of what happened, alright? I can’t…”I can’t stand to lose you again.

I felt her grip tighten around my hand as she moved closer to me. I could smell her, feel her breaths against my face as she whispered, “I’m here because I love you. Because you told me I would be living in regret. And I see that now. I’m tired of fighting my feelings. Tired of staying still. I want to move forward withmy best friend, and I don’t want to be scared anymore. Like you said in your letter, you love me, and time apart is time wasted.”

It was like someone had poured kerosene inside my veins and set that shit on fire. My blood burned from her words, and I opened my eyes again, staring into her deep brown eyes. More tears fell out, and her bottom lip trembled.

Eighteen months, gone.

Before that, over three years, gone.

And yet… it was like I’d never been away from her.

Shit like that defied logic, didn’t it? It didn’t make sense. But life was a big fat pile of nonsensical bullshit, and I was tired of it.

“Come here,” I quietly said.

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