Page 37 of Shameless Royalty

She raises a brow. “Is it? And what about when your heart pulls you in a different direction? What about when somethin’ or someone starts to matter just as much?”

I don’t answer.I can’t.

She studies me for a moment longer before pulling the chair out all the way and sitting down, folding her arms on the table. “You’re Declan’s son, no doubt about that,” she says. “But you’ve always had a softer heart than he does. You just bury it deeper.”

I scoff. “Yeah? Don’t tell anyone. Might ruin my reputation.”

She smirks but doesn’t let me distract her. “This person,” she says, leaning in slightly. “They’ve gotten past your walls, haven’t they?”

I shake my head. “Not even close.”

Ma gives me a knowing look. “Then why are you sittin’ here, looking like someone’s turned your world upside down?”

I grit my teeth. “Because they’re a pain in my arse.”

That makes her laugh. “Oh, I’m sure they are.” She tilts her head. “Is that what’s really botherin’ you? Or is it the fact that you care and you don’t want to?”

I say nothing. That silence is answer enough.

She reaches out, covering my hand with hers. “Connor, love… you can’t control how you feel. You can control what you do about it, but trying to deny it? That’s only goin’ to eat you alive.”

I pull my hand away, not unkindly, just… because I can’t do this. I stand up, running both hands through my hair.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say, voice tight. “Even if I did—” I cut myself off, shaking my head. “Even if I cared, it wouldn’t change a fuckin’ thing. I have responsibilities and a job to do.”

“And what if carin’ doesn’t get in the way of that?” she asks, voice soft. “What if it makes you stronger?”

I let out a humorless laugh. “Or what if it makes me weak?”

She sighs, shaking her head. “Lovin’ someone doesn’t make you weak, Connor.”

I stiffen. “I never said anything about love.”

“No,” she says, smiling a little. “You didn’t.”

Fuck.

I shake my head, backing away toward the door. “I shouldn’t have come in here.”

She watches me, her expression exuding pity, and I fucking hate it. “Maybe not,” she says. “But I’m glad you did.”

I grip the doorframe, exhaling hard. “Ma…”

“I know,” she says gently. “You’ve got a lot on your plate, love. Just… don’t let your father’s definition of loyalty stop you from figurin’ out your own.”

I don’t say anything. I just nod once, then turn and walk out before she can say anything else. Because the last thing I need is more words rattling around in my head, telling me things I don’t want to hear.

I already know the truth. I’ve known it since the moment Malachi started getting under my skin.

I just don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do about it.

Chapter 22

Malachi

Ilieonmyside, curled up on the bed, my arms tucked under my chest as I stare blankly at the floor. The rain outside has turned into a steady rhythm, the kind that usually soothes me, but today it just makes the silence heavier.

I feel like I’m sinking, like the weight in my chest is pressing me further and further down, and no matter what I do, I can’t claw my way back to the surface.

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