Page 43 of Shameless Royalty

She looks down at her hands, twisting the edge of the blanket between her fingers. “I’m just trying to get back to normal.”

“You’ll get there,” I say firmly. “One step at a time.”

She nods, and the room falls quiet for a moment before she speaks again. “You look like you’ve got something on your mind,” she says, tilting her head. “What’s up?”

I think about Mihai’s offer to come visit him in Romania and decide to bite the bullet. “Mihai’s invited us to spend Christmas with him,” I start. “He wants us all to be there, and—”

“Nikolai will be there too,” she finishes for me and I nod as guilt spears through me for some reason.

“Does that bother you?” I ask, realizing I haven’t really asked her about anything regarding her ‘relationship’ with Nikolai. “I can call him and cancel?”

Cat bites the corner of her bottom lip and fiddles with her sleeves. “I… I don’t know yet,” she admits, her voice quieter than before. “It’s not like I can avoid Nikolai forever especially after—”

I watch her as she stops herself, waiting for her to say more. She looks down at her hands, fingers twisting in her sleeves again, and I know she’s holding something back.

“Cat,” I say, my voice softer now. “Talk to me.”

She exhales, long and slow, like she’s gathering her thoughts. “I know about the engagement.”

I nod. “I figured you did.”

She lets out a dry laugh, shaking her head. “Of course you knew.” Then her smile fades, and I see the clear resentment on her face. “Did you know before I did?”

I don’t answer right away, and that’s enough of an answer for her. She scoffs. “Jesus Christ, Connor.”

“Da told me while we were plannin’ to get you back,” I say, my tone edged with frustration. “It wasn’t my choice to keep it from you, nor was it my place to tell you.”

“But you knew,” she says, her voice cutting through the air like a blade. “You knew, and you didn’t tell me.”

“I would’ve,” I say, dragging a hand through my hair. “But it’s not like you wouldn’t have found out soon enough. And honestly, what the fuck was I supposed to say?‘Hey, Cat, just a heads up, Da decided to marry you off to the man who treated you like garbage’?”

Her lips press into a tight line. “Yeah, actually. That would’ve been nice.”

I let out a heavy sigh, running my hands over my face. “I hated it too, you know. Hated that he went behind your back, hated that you didn’t get a say. But I get why he did it.”

Cat lets out a humorless laugh. “Right. Because I’m carrying the next Russian Crown, and that means I have to play nice and do what’s best for the family.”

I don’t say anything because what the fuck else can I say? She’s not wrong.

She leans back against the headboard, eyes fixed on the ceiling. “It’s funny, you know. All my life, I thought I’d get to choose who I’d end up with. That maybe,just maybe, I’d get to fall in love like a normal person.” She lets out a slow breath. “Da was the easiest to talk to, so I didn’t think I’d end up as a bargaining chip like the other mafia princesses. But no. One slip up, and suddenly my future isn’t mine anymore.”

I clench my jaw, feeling something ugly twist in my gut. “It’s not like that, Cat.”

She snaps her gaze to mine, her green eyes blazing. “Isn’t it? Because from where I’m standing, it sure as hell looks like I’m just a piece to be moved on the board.”

I swallow hard. “It’s not about that.”

Cat huffs. “Then what is it about, Connor? Because I sure as hell don’t see another reason for this arrangement.”

I hesitate. “It’s about makin’ sure you and the baby are both protected. Da’s doing what he thinks is best, so is Dmitri. You can’t blame them because this is how they were raised.”

She flinches at that, and I regret saying it the second it leaves my mouth. “Right,” she says bitterly. “Because Nikolai was so fucking protective when he told me to get rid of it.”

The words hang between us, and my heart fucking breaks for her. Cat almost never gets angry, and hardly curses, so I know this has pissed her off more than she’s showing.

My hands curl into fists. “He was a fuckin’ idiot for saying that.”

She lets out a shaky breath. “Yeah, he was.”

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