Page 44 of Shameless Royalty

I look at her, really look at her, and I see how much this has fucked with her. She’s always been strong, always been able to handle whatever life threw at her, but this? This broke something in her.

And I hate that I couldn’t stop it.

I exhale through my nose, forcing myself to calm down. “How do you feel about it?”

She laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “I feel great, Connor. Can’t you tell?”

“No need for the goddamn snark, Cat.” My voice is softer now as I take her hand in mine. “Tell me the truth.”

She drops her gaze, her fingers tightening on mine. “I’m not over it,” she admits, voice barely above a whisper. “The way hethrew me aside. The way he told me to get rid of the baby like it was nothing but an inconvenience.”

My chest tightens. I knew Nikolai had been an absolute bastard about this, but hearing her say it out loud makes my blood fucking boil.

“I wanted to hate him,” she continues. “Ididhate him. For weeks, I thought about nothing else. And now? Now I have to stand next to him, smile, and act like this was always meant to happen.” She exhales shakily. “It’s humiliating.”

I shake my head. “You don’t have to pretend. Not with me.”

She gives me a small, tired smile. “I know.”

I stare at her, the sister I swore I’d always protect, and I feel useless. Because what can I do? Break the engagement? Start a war? I’d do it. If she asked me, I would burn this entire fucking empire down.

But she won’t ever ask that of me.

“I don’t trust him,” I say, my voice hard. “He’s asked for my forgiveness and to make it up to us, but I still don’t trust him. Not like I used to.”

“He apologized to me as well, and I don’t trust him either,” she admits, “but I have to trust that he’ll do right by the baby.”

This surprises me more than anything and I don’t know what to say to that. Cat doesn’t say anything either, she just fiddles with my hand in hers and for a long time, neither of us speaks. The rain continues to patter against the window, filling the silence.

Then she says, “Do you think I’m making a mistake?”

I look at her, taking in the vulnerability in her expression and the way she’s bracing herself for my answer.

“No,” I say finally. “I think you’re makin’ the best of a shite situation. I may not trust Nikolai, but I know he won’t let you down a second time. I trust him with your life, and in turn, I trust him with Sparky’s life.”

Cat chuckles at this, and that smile I love spreads across her face. “Sparky? Where the hell is that coming from?”

I grin. “The bean survived a kidnappin’, torture,andbeing Nikolai’s. If that’s not the definition of being lively and vivacious, then I don’t know what is,” I say and she bursts out laughing, the sound warming me right up. “Besides, any baby is a miracle.”

She nods at this, exhaling in what seems like relief, and then she lets go of my hand and lies back against the pillows. “Thanks for checking on me, Connor.”

“Always,” I say, standing and ruffling her hair. She swats at my hand, but she’s smiling, and that’s all I need. “Love you, Cat.”

“Love you too, CC,” she says, the smile still on her face but her eyes are glazed over. She’s going to cry, but she doesn’t want me here to see it.

So, I leave her room while feeling conflicted. The storm in my chest is still there, quieter now but no less real. And as I head back toward my own room, I know I won’t be getting much sleep tonight. Not with Malachi’s blue eyes haunting me like a ghost and Cat’s sadness squeezing my heart.

Chapter 24

Connor

Thehouseisdeadsilent, save for the steady patter of rain against the windows. I’ve been lying in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, my chest tight with thoughts I can’t shove aside.

Every time I close my eyes, I see him leaning into my touch, sighing like it was the first good thing he’d felt in a while. Those fucking eyes, so sad and so fucking blue.

I can’t take it anymore.

Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m out of bed, barefoot and moving toward his room. My body’s ahead of my brain, like it knows what I need even if I don’t want to admit it. I tell myself I’m just checking on him, that it’s nothing, but I know that’s a lie.

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