Page 18 of Shameless Royalty

“Come on,” I say, nodding toward the path. “We’re not done yet.”

He hesitates, then falls into step beside me. The silence stretches between us again, heavier this time. I can feel the questions bubbling under the surface, but he doesn’t ask them, and I don’t offer any more answers.

When we finally circle back to the house and go inside, he stops at the door, looking at me like he’s about to say something. Instead, he just shakes his head and steps inside.

I lock the door afterward, pocketing the key. The look he had on his face as I left lingers in my mind—anger, frustration, and that damn confusion. I’d just dropped the truth on him, laid it bare, and now he’s stuck in that room to stew over it. Locked in his head as much as he is in this bloody estate.

Not my fucking problem,I tell myself, but the thought doesn’t stick.

Each step down the hall sends a fresh wave of pain radiating through my ribs, every breath dragging shards of glass through my lungs. I should’ve stayed put after yesterday and let the damage settle, but I didn’t. Stubbornness, pride—call it what you want. Now I’m paying for it.

I round the corner, desperate to collapse onto my bed and shut out the world for a few hours, but stop dead in my tracks.

Nikolai is leaning against the wall next to my bedroom door. His blond hair is disheveled, his clothes slightly wrinkled, andhis blue eyes look bloodshot. He’s definitely not the polished, cocky bastard I grew up with. He looks like shite.

I grit my teeth as a sharp irritation bubbles up in my chest. Of all the people I don’t have the patience for right now, he’s at the top of the list. The absolute fucking top. But then Da’s words from the other night echo in my head:You need to give him time to come to you.

So, I swallow down my frustration, and close the gap between us. “What do you want, Nikolai?”

He glances up at me, his blue eyes heavy with something I don’t have the patience to deal with right now. “To talk.”

I scoff, turning to unlock my door. “Not in the fuckin’ mood.”

“Connor,” he says softly. “Please.”

That makes me pause. Nikolai Mikhailov doesn’t beg. At least, not the Nikolai I used to know. I sigh, shoving the door open and gesturing to him to follow me inside. “Fine. Make it quick, will you.”

He steps inside as I head for the bed, the familiar dull ache in my ribs flaring up as I sit. I wince, not bothering to hide it, and glance at Nikolai as he hovers near the door. His jaw tightens when he notices, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Well?” I say, leaning back against the headboard, keeping my tone even. “Out with it, then.”

He stays by the door for a moment, fidgeting like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Finally, he takes a deep breath and steps closer. “I’m sorry, Connor.”

I raise an eyebrow. “For what, exactly?”

“For all of it,” he says. “For being a selfish prick. For sneaking around with Cat when I knew damn well what that would do to you. For going behind your back like a coward. And—”

He hesitates, his eyes flicking to the floor before he keeps going. “For hurting her. For the things I said to her when Ithought I could just push her away instead of stepping up. I was a fucking coward.”

His voice cracks slightly, but he powers through while still not looking at me. “And more than anything, I’m sorry for betraying you. For destroying what we had. You were my brother, and I fucked it all up.”

I watch him, my chest tight, as he runs a hand through his hair. He’s nervous and I can’t find it in me to feel pleasure in that. His fists clench and unclench at his sides, and I realize he’s trying to hold himself together.

“I’ve spent weeks trying to figure out how to fix this,” he continues with a trembling voice. “But I know I can’t undo what I did. I can’t take it back. All I can do is try to be better and step up.”

The room is heavy with silence as he finally looks at me, his blue eyes wide and desperate. “Please, Connor. Let me earn your trust back. Let me protect Cat the way I should’ve from the start. I swear on my life, I’ll keep her safe. I’ll keep them both safe.”

I let out a slow breath, dragging a hand down my face as I take in his words. For weeks I’ve been holding onto this anger, this… betrayal, and letting it fester. It’s easier to be pissed off at him than to deal with what’s really behind it all.

“You really hurt me, Nikolai,” I say finally, my voice low. “Not just Cat.Me.You went behind my back, and you made me feel like a fuckin’ fool. And that? That’s not easy to come back from.”

“I know,” he says quickly, his tone raw. “I know, and I hate myself for it. Every fucking day, I hate myself more for it. I hate that I broke us. You’re my family, my brother. And I…” His voice cracks, and he swallows hard. “I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees as I study him, while ignoring the pain shooting up my side. He’s definitely not the same Nikolai I grew up with. This man standing in front of me is broken.

“You’ve got a lot to make up for,” I say eventually.

“I’ll do whatever it takes. You know I don’t half-ass anything once I‘m locked in.”

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