Page 3 of Hainn

A sigh escaped her lips.

The Great Mother, who stood in the center of the circle, beckoned her closer. “No need to fear me, daughter. I’m not offended by what you said today, despite your Alpha’s warning.”

“I do regret the remark, my lady,” Jezari admitted as she walked into the circle and stopped a few feet away from the goddess. “Since I was rescued and revived I feel as if I’m out of control, a leaf spinning in a great vortex, not knowing up from down. I have no control over anything, least of all my emotions.”

“Yes, you were always about control and order before the enemy stole your life essence to prolong their own. You chose a wrong path in your confusion and that future is denied to you, as you were told today. My healer and his fated mate belong together and he wouldn’t be right for you, nor you for him.” She laughed and the sound was like bells chiming in soft harmony in the space. “You don’t even know him as a person, Jezari. You were attaching yourself to the idea of Timtur, not the actual man. You must be more careful going forward.”

“I’m not going to let myself fall into feeling anything for another male,ever.”

“And there you are wrong yet again. There will be someone for you, daughter, if you open yourself to the possibility at the right time. You and he could have an excellent future and accomplish much for your people.” The goddess shrugged. “Or you can remain closed off and bitter. Alone. The future has many branches, endless possibilities arising from the choices a mortal can make. This abiding need you have for control of everything is impossible to accomplish in the real world, and is a strength taken to weakness. What happened to you in the lab where you were created was never under your control.”

“You could heal me now, tonight,” Jezari said boldly, done with the discussion of her past and of possible fated mates in the future.

“I am not here to make life easy for the Badari,” the Great Mother said, frost in her voice. “Victory is only appreciated when it’s been fought for and won. Gifts of such magnitude are often frittered away and not valued at their true worth. You aren’t ready to walk the valley in reality, my daughter; you have work to do.”

And she was gone.

Jezari gasped and almost fell out of bed, staring at the hospital room around her in confusion. Was it a dream? A true vision? Either way she was in for a long stint of frustration before she gained her freedom from this place and the close supervision of her people. Settling against the pillows and yawning, Jezari vowed to put in so much effort all the busybodies—and especially the new standoffish healer—would be astonished and impressed. She was done being bedridden and less than all her Badari peers.

One month ago…

Hainn stood justinside the door of the hospital and watched as Jezari descended the stairs through a clapping, cheering group of human hospital workers, happy to see her succeed in walking out of the facility on her own. Her Badari sisters waited quietly at the foot of the stairs to greet her, several of them bearing small bouquets of the wildflowers which grew so abundantly in the valley. It wasn’t the Badari way to make loud demonstrations of enthusiasm—too many years in the labs under the watchful eyes of the Khagrish scientists had made them all masters of internalizing every emotion, including joy and pride. He felt both to varying degrees right now. She’d been a most challenging patient to work with, proud, haughty and guarded after the unfortunate episode of her infatuation with thesenior healer. On the other hand, she’d worked hard at the physical therapy tasks Hainn set for her and he admired her determination. No Badari should ever be so weak for such an extended time, but the Khagrish had damn near killed her in their life sucking pod.

He had to admit his magic had taken on an entirely different tone and texture over time as the two of them had their sessions. He’d never experienced the same energy, much less the pure satisfaction he got when applying his healing gift to anyone else. It was as if she amplified his power and returned it to him, complete with extra sparkle.

Timtur came up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder. “A successful outcome—you should be proud. She didn’t make it easy for either of us, did she?”

“Jezari’s a fighter all right.” Hainn caught a final glimpse of her in the midst of her sisters, all laughing and talking at once and then he turned away to walk with Timtur to their next meeting.

He was going to miss sparring with Jezari. She had a biting wit and keen insight and was never at a loss for words, even if she hadn’t deigned to speak to him all that often. She was so unlike the human females in the valley and Hainn found the contrast fascinating. The human women he flirted with, danced with and slept with were soft. He was glad as a South Seas Badari he was able to experience what the humans called casual dating. The Northern packs were much more uptight, all about finding their fated mate and not so much as looking at another woman until then. Hainn and his brothers enjoyed life a little more and the human women were only too happy to help them.

Certainly there were some among the women who were as tough as Badari. Flo, his Alpha’s mate for one, and Jill the Supreme Alpha’s mate absolutely. Hainn liked them both and respected them, would accept any order they issued, but in hispersonal life he preferred less edgy and challenging partners. Still, as he walked with Timtur, he reflected on the fact he’d enjoyed his sessions working with Jezari, even if she drove him to the edge of his patience at times with her attitude and assertiveness. She’d overcome so much and he wished her well. Unlikely he’d ever be called upon to treat her again nor was he going to run into her socially. The valley was relatively small but he and Jezari probably wouldn’t travel in the same circles and she wasn’t going into combat under any circumstances. The Supreme Alpha had decreed she’d suffered enough and he wouldn’t risk her health by placing her in a combat unit.

Hainn judged it a wise decision. Jezari was a loner as far as he could see and undoubtedly wouldn’t take orders well. She’d be questioning everything in the midst of blaster fire and explosions. He chuckled and Timtur quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Something I said was funny?”

“No, not at all, sorry, brother. My mind was wandering a bit.” Hainn paused to allow the senior healer to enter the room first and gave himself a mental shake. Enough thought of Jezari. She wasn’t his problem any longer, except for a routine followup in a few months and there was a room full of cubs waiting for him and Timtur to conduct an assessment of their development and ascertain whether any of them had potential as a healer. Duty called and the vision of Jezari receded.

CHAPTER TWO

Current time…

Jezari flitted through the woods of Sanctuary Valley, evading the security patrols with ease. The men wouldn’t stop her—she was Badari and had as much right to be here as they did—but it was a game to her to break rules and thwart those in charge. She was also extremely tired of every Badari Warrior being in her business and concerned about her welfare.

Sure she’d nearly died at the hands of the Director of the Khagrish facility where she was created and okay it had taken her a year of constant nursing and care by the pack healers and her sisters to regain her physical conditioning but that was all in the past. Why couldn’t people let it go? Did they think she appreciated the constant reminders of how fragile and close to the afterlife she’d been? A person could only be so grateful for so long and Jezari had reached her limit a long time ago.

Pausing at the edge of the great lake which was the centerpiece of the valley, she considered her attitude. It was as if what she’d gone through had left her a different person than the Jezari who was locked into a life draining pod by the enemy.Like a butterfly emerging from the chrysalis.The lofty idea made her giggle.Too grandiose by half.But she was different now. The old Jezari had been diligent, head down, happy to complete whatever tasks she’d been assigned and then ask for more. Nowadays she had only a hazily defined assignment as an assistant to her Alpha, Keshara and most of the time she shirked even that. Not that her sister asked her to do much. She carried messages, she observed meetings and wrote notes…her Alpha was involved in running the human side of the valley, for which she noticed the male Alphas had little patience. The humans had no idea Keshara wasn’t alpha born like the others with the title and no one was going to tell them so her authority was unquestioned by those the Badari protected and worked with.

If I had a real job, one that mattered…if they’d only allow me to fight the Khagrish…but that was a lost cause. Aydarr himself had decreed she was exempt from any combat related assignment. Jezari was sure her problem with her ‘job’ was the lack of depth and meaning. She couldn’t take it too seriously.

And Keshara never found fault with her. Jezari was good at last minute pushes to catch up on deliverables and appear to have been working the entire time.

“But it isn’tme,” she declared to the entire forest, spreading her arms wide. She didn’t much like the current version of herself but fitting into the valley was hard. Her sisters had had a year of finding their way among the other Badari and the humans while she’d been stuck in the hospital bed, recovering. Even Raeblinn, who’d been her assigned nursemaid for the year, had managed to become part of the community when not on duty. “Face it, you’re a square peg and here there are only round holes,” she muttered as she kicked off her shoes and hid them under a low hanging bush.

Jezari took a running start and dove into the cool waters of the lake. This had become her favorite thing to do. Once in thewater she had the total solitude she craved and swimming was like flying to her. Badari could stay submerged for incredible lengths of time and she reveled in the ability. She’d been gradually exploring the lake further and further out from shore, taking note of the best fishing grounds and where the various freshwater dwellers had their nests and nurseries. The South Seas pack had claimed large swathes of the lake as their own and did the majority of the fishing and aqua harvesting for the commissary. Once a week or so Jezari would spend her time fishing as well, often bringing a huge catch to the kitchen due to her knowledge of the lakebed. The South Seas men seemed to regard the lake as more of a recreational area than an ecology to be studied, which suited her fine. She had no desire to share what was becoming her specialty.

Besides, she’d often heard them speak disparagingly about her beloved lake, comparing it to their beautiful ocean and finding it lacking, which to her was nonsense. She’d bitten her tongue more than once in the commissary or at the various social events Aydarr insisted on having.

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