Page 44 of Be With Me

“What about before,” he said.

“Before?”

“Before you got married. Or even thought about marriage. What did you want to do with your life?”

“Well, like most girls, I wanted to be a ballerina when I was like, six.” I laughed. “Of course, it would’ve helped if I’d actually taken lessons.”

He laughed a little, nodding in agreement.

“When I met my ex, I was actually pursuing a business degree…”

We ended up hanging out all afternoon. Two movies and hours of conversation later, I told him I had to go. “This was fun, Tyler.” And it had been. Strange, but fun. I felt like I’d just made a new friend, and I couldn’t explain why.

At the door, I waved to Snickers, suddenly unsure. I wanted to kiss Tyler goodbye, and yet, I didn’t.

Tyler solved the problem by leaning down and giving me a chaste kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon. Thank you for coming over to check on me. I had fun today.”

“Me, too.” With a final wave at Snickers, I smiled and left.

The temperature had dropped, but luckily the rain had let up to barely a drizzle. I wandered the streets of the city, my head lost in thought. I was scared for Tyler. Something was obviously wrong with him, but I understood if he didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he was waiting for test results or something.

It suddenly occurred to me that not once during our entire afternoon together, or any other time we’d spend together, had he mentioned family or friends. Other than a brief mention of his foster parents and his sister. And he hadn’t mentioned her at all today.

I was suddenly kicking myself for letting him in to my life. If he was dealing with something health-wise, he would need a good support system. People to help him get to appointments, sit with him, maybe worse. And I didn’t have time for that shit.

Shame quickly followed. How could I think that way? I mean, seriously, how fucking selfish could I be?

I stopped in the middle of the street and looked around. Tears filled my eyes, blurring the sight of the city just beginning to light up for the night. I didn’t even know what I was crying about. For Tyler? Or for myself?

But I did know. I wasn’t crying because I was selfish. I was crying because he’d made me care. And now I didn’t know what the hell was going to happen to him. I didn’t even know where he’d gone today. Because that may have been Tyler’s body sitting next to me, but it sure as hell wasn’t Tyler.

Wiping the moisture from my eyes, I realized I wasn’t far from Stef’s apartment. I thought about stopping by, but honestly, I wouldn’t be great company, and I had to catch the bus back home. Taking a deep breath, I crossed the street and headed toward the bus stop. I had a full day at the studio tomorrow. For right now, I would think about that and only that.

And I was a fool if I believed I could do that.

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