Page 46 of Be With Me

In the few hours I’d talked to the counselor, I’d figured out that it probably wasn’t a great idea to drag Ailee into all of this. This was my problem, not hers. However, I wasn’t willing to give her up. Not now. Not when fate had given me this chance with her.

But right now, I had to take care of me. And all I could do was hope she would still be around when I came out of this.

* * *

Five Weeks Later

I had a diagnosis. Or at least, what my therapist and I thought was a diagnosis. Mostly thanks to my sister, who’d finally opened up to me about a lot of stuff.

After three weeks of getting a whole lot of nowhere, I’d called my sister and invited her over. Mostly because she wouldn’t stop blowing up my phone.

Willow didn’t react at all when I told her I was going to therapy, which was kind of odd. But when I shared all the things that had been happening to me and how freaked out I was by it, she started to cry.

“I’m so sorry, Tyler.” She folded into one of the kitchen chairs, her thin hands covering her face.

I sat down, turning my chair toward her. “It’s not your fault I’m fucked up, Will. We don’t know where I came from, or what genetics I’m carrying.” I gave a derisive laugh. “But now we know maybe why my biological parents didn’t want me.”

She was shaking her head even as she wiped her eyes. “That’s not true.” With a sniff, she grabbed my hand in both of hers and held it on her lap. “Mom and Dad know where you came from. I overheard them talking one night when we were teenagers.”

The world stilled around me as I tried to comprehend what she was telling me. “What? How…how could they know?” And then a thought occurred to me. “This is why I was never adopted. Wasn’t it?”

Horror crossed her face. “No! No, Tyler. This has nothing to do with that.”

I didn’t believe her, and she knew it.

“Tyler, I wasn’t adopted, either. Mom and Dad have their reasons, the major one probably being money. I don’t really know all of it. But I do know they love you, and not adopting you has nothing at all to do with where you came from.”

“And where is that, exactly?”

Still holding my hand, Willow leaned forward, wisps of her blond hair falling over her thin shoulders, her eyes huge in her pale face. “I don’t know what country or city exactly. I didn’t hear that part. But it’s somewhere in the Middle East. You were removed from a country at war.” She gave me a sad smile. “I think your biological parents died.”

They were dead. The word reverberated through me. My family, my mother who gave birth to me, was dead. And that was the exact moment I knew that I’d always had it in the back of my mind that I would meet her someday. A day that would never come now. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You used to have nightmares when they first brought you home. You’d wake up terrified in your bed, screaming in terror most of the time.” Her thumb rubbed the back of my hand in a soothing motion. “Do you remember coming in to sleep with me?”

I shook my head, trying to grasp what she was saying. I didn’t remember any of this.

She glanced down at our joined hands. “You did it a lot at first. I think you felt safer with me for some reason. Maybe because I was another kid? You didn’t speak much English, so you couldn’t understand a lot of what was being said when Mom and Dad would come rushing into your room. I think it just scared you even more.” She looked up at me and shrugged. “It made Mom pretty sad that you wouldn’t let her comfort you.”

“I don’t remember any of that.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Her eyes filled again. “It was horrible, Tyler. Hearing you scream like that.”

“I’m so sorry, Willow.”

But she waved away my apology. “Oh, honey. It’s not your fault. I mean, hell. You were still healing from injuries when we first got you. Mom and Dad had to take you to the doctor all the time.” She paused. “But I’m getting off track.”

I laughed without humor, using the heel of one hand to wipe at the moisture in my eyes. Willow still held the other. “There’s more to this fucking story?”

“Yeah. And before I start, please remember that I was only trying to protect you. That was always my intention, Tyler. I love you so much, and I just wanted it all to go away. I didn’t want you to be scared anymore. I wanted you to be happy.”

Well, I was really fucking scared now. But as I studied my sister’s face, I saw that she truly meant it. So, I tried to keep the tremble from my voice when I asked, “What else, Willow?”

She took a deep breath. “A few months after you came to live with us, you woke me up one night like you did all the time. Only you weren’t scared, Tyler, or even upset. Actually, you were happy.”

“Well, that’s good. Right?” I tried a smile. She didn’t return it. A hollow feeling filled my chest. “Willow?”

She looked right at me then. “You told me your name was Superman.”

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