Page 84 of What I'm Looking For

Maybe Will and I will figure things out. If not, I’ll be back to independent Kate in no time. I’ll grieve a bit more, but I’ll be fine.

Eventually.

I survived last time, after all.

I unzip my bag, hang up my dress and pull out my running gear. A good long run will make me feel better.

At least I can count on that.

Chapter23

BEEP. Saturday, 10:02 a.m.

Will, it’s Pam. Listen, if you get this we could really use some help at the community center. We still have a lot to do to finish up the sets for their performance tonight. No—no, don’t put that over there! Shit, I gotta go.

WILL

“Wow. You really know what you’re doing.”

I’d been surprised to hear that Ben Porter had joined the group of company actors finishing up the sets and costumes for our kids’ show this weekend. Now, I watch somewhat in awe as the model/actor deftly runs a series of two-by-fours through a table saw, one of the many pieces of professional-looking equipment I just helped him unload from a van.

Ben stacks the wood and then checks the design plans. “I’m definitely more confident with these tools than I am in rehearsal right now.”

I wave those worries away. “You’re doing a great job. For a model, anyway.” I grin when he slides me a look.

Since I’d planned to be out of town this weekend, I don’t have an assigned task. Even though last night’s film shoot ran until the wee hours of this morning, I couldn’t sleep in. Too restless. So I came over to the community center to help out. Anything to distract me from the fact that somehow my relationship with Kate seems to have imploded. Ben was the first to say he could use my help.

“I don’t know much about running those tools, but I’ve been told I take direction well. Just tell me what to do.”

Ben picks up another two-by-four. “Let me just run these through, and then I’ll need your hands.”

“Sounds good.” I scan the sea of faces surrounding us, hoping to find Mike and Randall. I also plan to use this time to talk the actors into filming someR&Jscenes for my fight director reel. Jimmy had been enthusiastic about shooting it.

Ben calls me over to where he’s laid out the lengths of lumber to explain what he needs me to do. It’s actually the most I’ve heard the guy speak outside of his lines in the play. Watching him operate the automatic drill, I ask, “How’d you learn how to do this stuff?”

He juts his chin at the logo on the van parked on the blacktop. “That’s my dad’s company. He does custom cabinets.” He squats and quickly drives six more screws into the base of the flat. “I’ve helped out in the shop since I was a kid. It was easier for him than hiring a babysitter after school.”

“Did your mom work too?” I thought about my mom, who’d always been there for us in the afternoons, since she was a school librarian.

“No. She died when I was little. I don’t really remember her.” Ben keeps his eyes on the task at hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks. It was a long time ago.” His voice reveals little as he nods toward a stack of frames. “Help me move these. We’ll attach them to the flats after they’re painted.”

He easily lifts the heavy supports. I’d noticed his strength in our first fight rehearsal.

“What do you do to keep in shape?”

He shrugs. “I do weights, mostly. I was in a car accident when I was in college, and the physical therapist got me lifting. It keeps me sane. And in shape for the camera.”

“Do you like it? Modeling?”

“It’s?…” He pauses as we negotiate the parking lot toward the back of the building. “I like that I’ve gotten to travel to some interesting places and get to know some good people. You’d think models would be self-involved and crazy, and some are. But I’ve made some good friends.”

On the way back, my gaze is on the ground. So, Ben is shy. I’d assumed he was a snob because he’s kind of famous. Like how people assume that all actors are extroverts. Some are. Jessica and Mike have huge personalities. I’m an introvert. Most people don’t believe it since I’m a pretty flashy bartender and an actor, but those are just roles I play. In life, it takes me a while to let down my guard.

That hadn’t been the case with Kate, though.

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