Page 58 of What I'm Looking For

My rehearsal call Saturday morning is way too early. Lots of middle-of-the-night sex with Kate means I’m running on little sleep, but I’m fueled by a different kind of energy—a squirrelly happiness, like I can do no wrong.

So when a wacky idea pops into my head during the group vocal warmup, I don’t just decide it’s too far out in left field. Instead, I go for it.

We’re working on Act II this morning. Before we start, I whisper to Randall, “I have an idea.” When I explain it to him, he raises a brow but says he’s game so when we’re up, we play through the scene with it in mind. When we’re done, Dave jumps out of his chair.

“Why didn’t I think of this? So, Bertram and Parolles are lovers?”

Randall bows to me. “This is his idea. I’ll let him explain.”

I’m buzzing with the possibilities for this choice so I dive in. “Yeah, but not exactly. It just hit me how Parolles calls Bertram ‘sweet-heart’ twice at the end of scene three, so I thought, what if they either are having a secret affair, or want to, but it’s forbidden in this society? Maybe like a thing that happens between soldiers off at war, but nobody admits it?”

Dave nods. “Yeah, I mean it obviously fuels his panic at being married off to Helena.” He goes back to the table to flip through his script. “We could also let it play into the ‘outing’ of Parolles later—like maybe the Lords see Bertram and Parolles together, and Bertram has to push Parolles away to prove he’s not gay.” He looks over at me and grins. “Maybe you’ll get to choreograph more of a fight in that scene than we’d thought.”

He looks over at Randall. “You’re good with this?”

Randall shrugs. “If it works, it works.”

And it does. Forbidden desire is such a great driving force to add to a relationship, and the two lords jump in with some frat boy homophobia to make it even more complex. Some of the language in these scenes is so archaic that it helps to have strong actions to play so that the audience will get what we’re doing, even if they don’t quite understand the words we’re saying.

By the end of rehearsal, I’m flying. It’s like a part of my brain got cracked open and I can access ideas I never would’ve considered before.

I don’t know if taking risks in my personal life with Kate is what’s opened me up, but I do know that she’s the one I want to share this with. Even though heading over to her place after my shift at the bar tonight will mean little rest for both of us.

Whatever. I can sleep when I’m dead.

* * *

The following Wednesday evening,when I finally make it to BU’s astronomy building to meet Kate for Open Observatory Night—the only actual date either of us has had time for this week—there’s already a long line of people waiting. She must’ve been here on time because I find her at the front of the line. “Hey, sorry I’m late.”

When she turns around, her smile is genuine as she holds up one of the industry journals she’s always got her nose in. “No problem. More time for me to catch up on reading.” She pulls me in for a lingering kiss before whispering, “Somebody keeps distracting me, so I’m behind.”

“Mm. Who could that be, I wonder?” Wrapping my arms around her for a hug, the tension from the last-minute production meeting I just attended quickly drains away.

When I let out an enormous sigh, she leans back to study my face. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just?—” The appearance of the observatory docent has me lowering my voice. “I’ll tell you later.” I jut my chin toward the front of the line. “Time to go look at the stars.”

Something I love about Kate? Her childlike sense of wonder. I’m pretty good at digging up cool things to do that don’t cost money, but she’s the one that makes our cheap dates special. Right now, hand clasped tight in mine, she’s bopping around like a little kid. Excited about getting to be on top of a building, about watching the sunset over the city, and especially about checking out the universe through the telescopes they have set up for us.

“Wow. I can’t believe I’m looking at a trillion stars.” Ever the rule follower, she carefully pulls back from the telescope. We’ve been reminded several times not to touch anything.

I lean in for my turn. “Huh. It looks like a stretched-out cotton ball to me.”

When I straighten up, she whacks my arm. “Way to take the magic out of it. Come on, I want to see the Orion Nebula before they kick us out.”

I let her pull me along to the next telescope where I enjoy watching her as much as I do the cluster of fuzzy blue dots that make up the nebulae.

“Were you checking out my butt?” she asks when she straightens to let me have a turn.

“Best view I’ve seen all night.” I say before pulling her in for a kiss. I used to be against PDAs, but I can’t seem to get enough of this woman.

Ten minutes later, the docents are herding us out again. Kate squeezes my hand as we head down the stairs. “That was so cool.”

“Yeah, I’m glad I got here in time. They don’t let you in if you’re late.”

“Good thing I gave you my pager number so you could let me know.”

“Jay wants me to get one. He says sometimes auditions happen last minute. I just don’t like the idea of always being on call.”

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