Page 91 of What I'm Looking For

“Yeah, something happened. Steve called.” His voice sounds strange, almost like it had during the fight rehearsal I’d witnessed.

I attempt a chipper tone. “Steve? Which one? You know I work with a lot of them.”

He slams a palm into the door, making me jump. “The Steve you travel with all the time.” He hurls his words over his shoulder without even looking at me. “The Steve who played golf with your father. The Steve you had such a good time with at the wedding. The Steve who called to chat because even though you spent the fucking weekend together, he couldn’t wait until tomorrow to talk to you again.”

An arm flings out in the direction of the kitchen. “I wrote you a note. It’s in the kitchen. I’m getting out of here.”

Confusion, hurt and rage wrestle for control of my mouth.

Rage wins. “So even though I heard you out with your pretty improbable explanation of what happened with Callie, you’re jumping to all kinds of conclusions about Steve and me? And why are you listening to my messages?” I sound like a little girl, which makes me even madder.

He finally turns around, and I wish he hadn’t. His expression is one I’ve only seen on Bertram’s face. “He called while I was sitting there waiting for you. I couldn’t avoid hearing every goddamn word he said.”

Before I can muster a coherent thought, he holds up a hand. “Look. It’s obvious that I was right. I’d have been a square peg when it comes to your family, but Steve—he fit into those round holes all over the place.” A sneer takes over his face, also like one of Bertram’s. “Oh, and there was ‘a kiss and all’ on top of all the fun times you had?”

“It just happened! He kissedme,and I stopped him because??—?”

He interrupts me, pointing between us. “Because you felt tied to me.” His arms fly in the air. “See, that’s the problem. Youshouldbe going out with a guy like him. I’m never going to be able to introduce you to people that can help your career like he can. I’m never going to take you on vacation anywhere, let alone some place like the Vineyard.”

“That’s not fair.” I have to stop myself from stomping my foot like a toddler. “That stuff is not important to me. I’m not like the people I work with. I don’t drive a new BMW; I drive a six-year-old Volvo.”

“Kate, I don’t haveanykind of car. You own your condo. I don’t even have enough money to rent an apartment on my own. I can’t even imagine being able to buy a place like this.”

“Well, maybe if you did more commercials, like Jay said?—”

“See, that’s the problem. You’re like everyone else who thinks I’m a failure because I’m not doing TV.”

“That isnotwhat I said.”

“But it’s what you’re thinking.”

“Don’t tell me what I’m thinking! I’m saying that if youwantedto buy a condo, you have that option to make money. You’ve proven that you’re pretty good at it and that you can balance that stuff with theater. I personally don’t care what you do.”

“You would if we were together. Ifwewere getting married. You and everyone who cares about you would think you were an idiot for marrying me.”

His tone, like he knows best, makes me want to scream. But before I can get a word in, he’s off again.

“Or worse, I’d be guilted into giving up acting or at least the theater to make more money, then I’d probably lose it all like my dad did and you’d hate me for it.”

“You’re not listening to me!” Tantruming is obviously not working, so I summon superwoman strength and lower my voice, in pitch and volume, so maybe he’ll take me seriously. “If you paid attention at all to anything I’ve ever said, you’d know that is complete bullshit.”

“I do pay attention, but you’re being completely unrealistic. You are used to a certain standard of living and would resent me if you had to step down from that to live like I do.”

My hands are in my hair, about to rip it out. “Oh my god. You are so goddamn stubborn! I can’t believe?—” The phone rings and it’s like someone hit pause on my brain. I’m completely flummoxed about what’s happening here, so I’ll take the reprieve.

“Go ahead, answer it. It might beSteve.Hot Steve.” I’ve never seen such an ugly expression on his face. Not even in the play.

“You are being ridiculous!” I jab a finger at him, ignoring the phone. “Yes, I had a good time with Steve. But the weekend also made me realize how much I value what we have.” I cross my arms. “Present circumstances excepted.”

The machine beeps. Roland’s voice hooks me like a fish on a line. I take a step backward. “Shit. It’s my boss. If I don’t answer he’ll just page me.”

Will reaches for the doorknob. “Go ahead.”

“Dammit! Don’t leave!”

He stops, his lips a tight line. I run to pick up the phone.

“Roland?” I catch him mid-recording and do my best to calm my voice. “Is everything okay?”

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