Page 76 of You Spin Me

Drawing a finger across her brow, I say, “I want to savor getting to know every inch of you, and”—taking a deep breath for courage, I finish—“I want us both to be ready for you to see every inch of me.”

JESS

On his way out the door, Cal calls, “Feel free to take one of my shirts to sleep in. Second drawer.”

So, after grabbing my makeup bag from my purse and rushing through brushing my teeth, cleansing, moisturizing and using the toilet—my body shedding warmth quickly in the chilly space—I shuck off my clothes except for my undies, slip into one of his soft T-shirts and dive under the bedcovers. Surrounded by the scents of him, my mind skitters over what just happened between us.

I’ve never,everhad a guy put the brakes on. Now Cal’s done it twice. Usually, having sex with a guy without getting too close keeps fears at bay. All kinds of fears. Not being able to sustain more than the initial flash of desire. That he’ll see through the fragile facades I maintain. That I’m not… enough.

I’m terrified. The only thing keeping me here, besides the connection we built up talking on the phone, is that what I see in his eyes and feel in his caress is new. So new that my defense systems are overwhelmed. Even so, somewhere deep inside, a voice is telling me to give in. To trust.

Maybe there is more to me under the surface that a man could actually be interested in. Maybe Cal could be the one thing I fall for that doesn’t get taken away.

I’m drifting down to sleep when he returns to spoon me, wrapping his big, warm body around mine. Rubbing his hand over my side, he whispers, “Oh my god, you’re freezing.”

Not quite awake, I mumble, “Bad circulation.”

“I tend to be hypersensitive to heat, so I keep it pretty cold in here,” he says, chafing up and down my side until I capture his hand and pull it under the covers as I wiggle back into his warmth.

When he folds a leg over mine and rubs my feet with his, the erection pressing between my cheeks wakes me right back up. “Are you sure you want to take it slow?” I ask, shifting my hips. “You seem… ready to go.”

Stilling me with a palm he growls, “I can’t imagine not being ready to go if I’m pressed up against you. You’re Baskin-Robbins, and I love all the flavors.”

“No talking about cold things,” I whine. “Only warm things. Like a nice, toasty fir?—”

As I try to swallow my unfortunate choice of words, he nuzzles under my hair to kiss the curve of my jaw. “It’s okay. You can say the word ‘fire’ in front of me. I won’t freak out. Anymore.”

I turn to face him, moving carefully so as not to let any cold in. “Will you tell me, though?”

“Tell you what?”

“If something bothers you?”

“You’re going to use up all of your coupons.”

“Yeah, I know the guy that makes them. I might be able to convince him to issue a few more.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.”

“Maybe you need to issue a few coupons of your own.”

“I don’t think I’m as gifted with glitter as you, but I bet I could come up with something.”

His forehead rests against mine, and my body decides it’s okay to relax. My eyes flutter closed, and my brain gives it up too.

An arm snakes under me and pulls me in so I can nestle into his shoulder. The heat of him wraps around me like a cozy blanket. As I’m sliding into dreamland, he draws one of my hands under his shirt, pressing it against a ridge of scarred skin. I spread my palm, reveling in his trust as I sink toward sleep.

Chapter20

SQUAWK. Rock and roll, Polly wanna rock and roll.SQUAWK. Wake up. Wake up. Polly want you to wake up and drive to work.SQUAWK.

JESS

Even though Cal has blackout curtains, my biological clock wakes me at seven again. I don’t have an audition today, but I suddenly remember that I do have a call at the radio station at noon to record with “Porky and Rocket,” whatever that means. When Jones called me with the offer yesterday, I was over-the-moon excited.

Interesting that the evening with Cal erased it from my mind completely.

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