Page 103 of You Spin Me

Esther asleep.

Where is Cal?

A nurse pokesand prods at me, measuring and counting and adjusting the tubes and IV attached to my arm. She explains that my sister had to go but she’ll be back.

A woman in a white coat enters, trailed by more white coats with young faces. The one in charge picks up my chart and rattles off words. The only ones that sink in are “kidney” and “infection.”

I get a brief smile and a nod before she exits, doctor ducklings trailing behind her.

I guess I’m not pregnant.

Hopefully not dying.

I feel like shit, but the pain has dulled to a low roar.

Wooziness is taking over again. I try to hang on to my brain because something’s—someone…

My brain cells keel over, but when I open my eyes, I see him.

Cal.

There he is.

Cal.

Stop.

Don’t leave me.

Chapter31

You’re listening to 101.7 WBAR on this beautiful Sunday night. Live music in Boston this week: upcoming R&B artist Karyn White headlines at the Channel, Phish is at the Paradise, and the Dropkick Murphys are at the Avalon Ballroom. Get out and hear some live music or stay home and watch reruns, the choice is yours.

CAL

I managed to drive to the hospital, find Esther and hand Jess off. I even managed to get my car out of the loading zone and into a parking space.

Then I freeze up. I need to know that Jess is okay but re-entering that place might actually give me a heart attack.

The image of Jess’s unnaturally pale face as they wheeled her away from me gets my ass out of the car and my feet walking back toward the doors. If something happens to her and I’m not there, I’ll never forgive myself. It’s bad enough that I didn’t see how seriously ill she is.

Concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other while trying not to let the hospital scents enter my nose, I make it to the check-in desk. When I ask about Jess, however, all the woman will tell me is that they’ve moved her. I’m not related to her, so that’s all the information I can get. I can’t remember her sister’s last name, so they can’t even page her for me.

I walk away from the desk, and before I know it, I’m in the hallway leading to the burn unit. Once my brain finally gets in gear, it occurs to me that someone there might be willing to help me find Jess.

The moment I see the sign announcing that I’ve entered the wing, my heart stops slamming against my breastbone. In fact, it stops all together as I face doors I vowed I’d never pass through again, no matter what I ended up looking like.

Worry for Jess restarts my ticker and shoves my fear aside. What happens on the other side of those doors has nothing to do with me today. Visiting hours are over, so I slip through them as quietly as I can. Taking the first right, trying to keep the sounds of pain and the smells of antiseptic from shutting me down completely, I pass rooms where I know kids are likely awake, positioned to heal and too uncomfortable to sleep.

Before I can find help, a nurse finds me. “Can I help you, sir? Visiting hours are over.”

I’d recognize that voice anywhere. Drill sergeant on the outside, marshmallow on the inside. “Nurse Angie?”

She frowns. “Do I know you?”

“It’s me. Cal Alonso.”

A hand flies to her heart. “Say that again.”

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