Page 110 of Child of Mine

“Why did you take the pills? Didn’t you know they were bad for you?” Jared asks.

“I saw other people taking them and because I trusted the adults who gave them to me, I didn’t think they’d hurt me. I didn’t know any better.”

I hold up a hand. “I want to be clear. I’m not blaming anyone but myself. At every step of the way, every drink I took, every pill I popped, I made the choice myself.”

“Did you get in trouble?” Tara asks.

“I got away with it for a long time, but when I lost weight to the point that it showed, people noticed. My agent and my parents met with the executives at the network, and they decided that I’d go away and get clean but we’d keep it all hush-hush. They didn’t want to look bad because they’d let things go so far with a minor under their wing. Meanwhile, since my character was fighting cancer, they’d float rumors and let everyone believe that I was fighting cancer.”

“You lied?” Tara asks, scandalized.

I nod. “I did. And I feel terrible about that, but that’s one reason why I wanted to tell my story today.”

I make myself look directly at the camera. Picturing the piles of cards and presents I received, my face burns with shame. “To each and every person that sent me get well wishes or even worried about my health, I apologize. I regret going along with that deception almost more than anything.”

Turning back to Jared and Tara, I continue. “At the same time, I want people to understand that I was fighting a deadly disease. It wasn’t leukemia; it was addiction. It took many months in rehab, but I did finally beat it. I came home and, thankfully, have been healthy ever since.”

“Do you wish that you hadn’t gone to New York and acted on TV?” Jared asks.

“That’s a good question. I want to say yes, but that’s not very useful.”

“Why not?” Tara asks.

“Partly because I can’t change the past, but also because I wouldn’t be who I am or have the people in my life that I do today.” I catch Henry’s eye again, hoping that he knows I’m talking about him—and Lilah. “What I’ll say is I’m glad that actor unions are more careful with children on sets these days. Still, there may be people who will offer you drugs and alcohol, no matter where you are. No matter how fun or harmless it may seem to take a drink or a pill, it’s a dangerous path. It can be deadly. I was lucky, but I did have to fight for my life.”

As planned, I wrap it up by speaking directly to the camera. “If you’re already on that path—no matter what your age—and you feel out of control or like you have nowhere to turn or no one to help you, I hope you’ll take advantage of the services listed on the screen. There are professionals who won’t judge you, who understand that addiction is a terrible disease, and who will help save your life too.”

* * *

HENRY

The day after Bella does the interview, she and I drive into work together for the first time. We’re still looking for an apartment to move into, so for now we’re not getting to spend the night together as much as I’d like. I do go over and have breakfast with my girls every morning, though.

As we pull into a parking space, Bella says, “I think it’s time we tell everyone.”

“Tell everyone?” I’m not sure which of the many secrets she’s talking about at this point. “You laid your soul bare on national TV last night.”

She takes my hand, and her palm is damp. “At the production meeting, I think we should just give everyone the Cliff’s Notes version of our history together. I don’t want to hide anything anymore.”

“If you’re sure, then, sure.” I kiss her knuckles. “You get the ball rolling, and I fill in the details?”

That gets a smile out of her. “Seems to work for us.”

Half an hour later, we walk into the conference room hand in hand. Carol raises a brow but doesn’t comment. James doesn’t notice, but the girls do. We’re the last to arrive, so after I pull out a chair for Bella, she sits and clears her throat.

“May I make an announcement before the meeting begins?”

“There’s more?” Tim asks.

“Shut up, Tim,” Keeley says. “Bella’s been through a lot.”

“It’s okay,” Bella says. “I don’t want to take up any more work time than necessary, but we also wanted to make a couple of things clear so our relationship won’t be a distraction.”

This gets James’s brows up.

I catch Bella’s eye, and when she nods, I jump in. “Let me tell you a story—”

When Carol interjects, “We do have an agenda to get through,” I add, “A short story.”

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