Page 17 of Child of Mine

A: We’ve checked with all of our sources, and unfortunately, it seems that Isabelle York is staying out of the spotlight for the time being. I’m sure you’ll join us in wishing her the best. K.G.TV Today,June 1989

BELLA

After I stagger out of the station and unlock my car with shaking hands, I can’t get out of the parking lot fast enough. Lilah’s in full-day kindergarten and my mom doesn’t expect me in the store because of this meeting, so I do what I do best.

Run away.

I may have protected Lilah from the notoriety of my party-girl days, but it seems I can’t completely escape the fact that she’s a product of my misbehavior. I buried Hal’s existence so deep that I managed to convince myself he didn’t exist. Like I was the Virgin Mary—without the virgin part. Laughing a little hysterically, I gun the engine to merge onto the Mass Pike.

That’s hilarious. You. A virgin,Quinn snickers.

That nightwaspretty surreal,Izzy says.

That man is all too real,Quinn sighs.I’d really like to get naked with him again.

After a quick gasp of shock, Izzy says,You can’t do that before telling him he has a daughter.

Eh, he’ll probably be relieved he’s escaped paying child support all these years,Quinn says.I mean, what hot single guy wants to be burdened with a kid?

Maybe he’s married,Izzy says.How would his wife and kids feel about this?

“Shut. Up. Both of you,” I say. “I can’t—we can’t… I mean. Gah! I’m talking out loud to the voices in my head.”

I’m also halfway to Worcester. If I’m going to make it to rehearsal on time, I’ve got to head back, so I take the next exit. After paying the toll, I find a drive-through and grab a late lunch. Focusing on the food and the road, I make it to the rehearsal hall without further comment from my own personal peanut gallery. However, I’m still so distracted by my real-life drama that I phone in my performance all evening. Thankfully, no one seems to notice.

Except the guy I’m in almost every scene with, my friend Will. On the first union-mandated break, he plops down next to me. “You okay? You’ve gone a little pale.”

Nodding, adding a little grimace, I lie. Again. “I think I ate something off yesterday. I’ve been a bit queasy.”

“‘Unquiet meals make ill digestions’… or something like that?”

“Is that from this show?” Will can pull out a Shakespeare quote for any occasion, but this one sounds familiar.

“It is indeed.” He pats my arm. “Anyway, you want a soda or something?”

“Thanks, that’d be nice.”

You’re such a good liar,Quinn says with true appreciation.

It isn’t good,Izzy counters.She’s just digging herself in deeper.

By the end of rehearsal, I’m completely exhausted. Squelching the voices in my head and pretending I’m sick—on top of the acting I’m supposed to be doing—takes its toll. When I park my car behind our house, all I want is to peek at the little girl I haven’t seen all day and then collapse into bed. On my way, I discover my mom working in her office off the kitchen.

“Hey, Mom. What are you doing still up?”

The expression on her face matches one I glimpsed in the mirror earlier today. She’s hiding something.

“Oh,” she says, scrambling to gather papers into a pile. “Uh… what time is it?”

Pointing to the clock right over her head, I say, “After eleven.”

When her face pales, worry punches me in the gut. “Is Lilah okay?”

“What?”

“Lilah? Your granddaughter? Is she sick or something?”

“No, no.” She looks past me. “I don’t think so.”

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