Page 57 of Child of Mine

“You talked to your mom, right?” He shoves his hands in his pockets, his expression unyielding.

I nod, begrudgingly.

His hands fly out again. “Well, I’m sorry, but talking to my dog wasn’t enough. Jill is my twin. She knows me better than anybody.”

“Okay.” A hand up between us, I make myself meet his gaze and mean it when I say, “I’m sorry. But I—”

Fingers swiping his hair out of his face, he interrupts me. “Just listen. Please?”

After I mime zipping my lips, he drops his hands to his sides and continues walking. “She convinced me that you probably had good reasons for not telling me. So, whatever they might be, I want to let you know that I’m willing to trust you and your judgement, despite the fact that you didn’t trust me.” He blows out a breath suddenly. “Sorry. I do have a bit of a quick temper.”

“Which is worrisome to me,” I say, a little out of breath from trying to keep up with his long strides. “Kids push your buttons like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Oh, I believe it.” He shakes his head. “You can’t imagine the shit kids tried to pull on set down in Raleigh.”

“Lilah’s a good kid. But she’s a kid. Your expectations will have to adjust. Patience is something you’ll have to work on.”

He nods vigorously. “I know, I know.”

I stop walking and take his elbow to stop him. “Be honest with me. Have you ever even pictured yourself having kids?”

Hazel eyes tinged with sadness meet mine. “Not really. I mean, I had a longtime girlfriend in Raleigh. My twin sister’s best friend. The two of them have had us married since elementary school, our lives all ticky-tacky and sewn up.” He blows out a breath. “And I couldn’t do it.”

“Is that why you left Raleigh?”

“Nah, that was about work.” He winces as he stares off over the water. “But maybe it was part of it. My parents had such a perfect relationship that maybe I expected too much, but I just… it wasn’t right. Any of it.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and heads up the path, mumbling something.

Again, I have to jog to catch up with him. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”

He walks backward. “I said, What if she doesn’t like me?”

“So what? She hates me at least twice a week. It’s part of being a parent.”

“It’s not fair. You’ve had years to figure this shit out.” He winces. “Shit, I guess I have to work on the cussing.”

“If you don’t want to lose your entire salary to the swear jar.”

He laughs. “Swear jar?”

I shrug. “Part of being a parent.”

“Me, a parent.” He shakes his head. “I’m still not quite used to the idea.”

I stop him again with a brief touch. I don’t trust myself to do more. “Like I said, you have to be all the way used to it before you meet her. So, if you need time—”

“I don’t. I want to be a part of her life, if she’ll have me. I felt robbed when I saw her.” He flings a hand in the air. “Like, how is it possible there’s been a piece of me out there for almost six years and I didn’t even know? Family is important to me.”

His tone is full of passion, not anger. Passion that I can’t be the focus of. This time, I lead the way up the walk. “It’s important to me too.”

He catches up quickly and takes my elbow. “What have you told her? About her dad?”

I have to slip out of his grasp to think straight. “That she doesn’t have one. So far, she’s been okay with that.”

“What do we tell her now?”

“I think the most important thing is to be honest.”

“Honest? As in tell hereverything?”

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