Page 59 of Child of Mine

“Well, I’ve got a dog. You guys have a picket fence. We could try to make the rest happen.”

I can’t tell if he’s pulling my chain or if he’s serious. Either way, it’s too much. “Let’s take it one step at a time. The relationship between you and Lilah has to be our primary focus. In the meantime, I think we need to keep whatever’s going on between us simple.”

“Seems simple to me.” He shrugs. “But you’re welcome to come to my place soaking wet again anytime.”

My smile in response is tight. “Thanks, but I’m going to try and avoid that.”

Chapter 12

“Daytime Close-up: Melanie Benson (Jeanie onRyan’s Wish) makes a very welcome return after taking time off to spend time with her brand-new baby. She says she’ll miss snuggles with the little one, but she’s glad to be back on the set.”Soap Chat, July 1989

HENRY

Last night, after a discussion that was testier than I’d hoped but more positive than I expected, we decided that the bookstore was the safest place to meet Lilah, so I’m supposed to meet them there this evening, which can’t get here fast enough. I’ve been useless at work all day. For one, my relationship with my own dad keeps haunting me—the good and the bad, the ideal and the not-so-ideal. I’ve put him and my mom on a pedestal, but there must be a reason why I don’t feel like I belong in my family. My dad did have a kind of a “my way or the highway” attitude, and he had a temper, too. At least with us boys. Jill had him wrapped around her little finger.

Not only has my brain been mired in memories, I’ve found myself staring at the Boomerang kids, wondering about their relationships with their fathers. Wondering if I’ll measure up. At least Lilah’s not a baby that I’d probably drop or hold wrong or make cry. Or a toddler that I’d lose patience with. Or a preschooler because, as experience has shown, we do not get along.

At least I’m no longer terrifying to Tara, because when she caught me staring, she came right up to me and said, “Stop being creepy, old man!” When I didn’t respond, still lost in thought, she punched me so hard in the bicep it made me yelp.

That got me laughing. And, oddly, made me feel better. And got me focused enough that I was able to get through the day’s shot list without any more gawking.

Now though, I’m literally shaking in my boots as I join Bella and Lilah in a little nook at the back of the quiet bookstore. As I sit like a prisoner waiting for a jury’s verdict, heart pounding heavily in my chest, Bella tells Lilah that my name is Henry, that we work together, but that we also knew each other from New York.

“You remember I told you that I lived in New York before you were born?”

Lilah nods, her expression more serious than any I’ve seen cross my twin’s face. “On 96thStreet and Riverside.”

“Right,” Bella says, wiping her hands on the sides of her shorts. It makes me feel better to know that she’s nervous too. “So, I met Henry there. We only knew each other for a short time, but when a baby really wants to be born, that’s all you need.”

When we talked about what to say, I suggested we add, “If you’re not careful,” because I certainly don’t want my daughter knocked up by some teenage horndog. But Bella insisted that Lilah shouldn’t feel like an accident.

Right now, I don’t think it’s clear to Lilah that we are talking about her.

“But then I had an emergency in my family, and I had to move away from New York,” I explain. “Your mom and I didn’t get a chance to talk before I left.”

“Which meant I didn’t have a way to contact Henry when I found out that I was going to have a baby,” Bella adds.

“But the other night, when I saw you at the theater, you reminded me of my sister, so I asked if maybe you were my daughter.”

“And I said that I believe he is,” Bella says.

Lilah’s eyes have been pinging back and forth between us, but when it’s clear that we’re finished, her penetrating gaze lands on me and I have to work hard not to squirm under her scrutiny.

Then she frowns and turns to Bella. “But you said I didn’t have a father.”

Bella opens her mouth and takes in a breath but doesn’t speak. I can’t help here, so I just keep quiet. Finally, she says. “I did say that. But I was mistaken.”

I’m not sure whether or not to be impressed at Bella’s admission. Is it a good idea to have your kid believe you make mistakes? Just when I’m thinking I might’ve won this round, the little girl shifts her focus back to me. She tips her head to the side to study me again. “Did you miss me?”

Not what I was expecting. Nothing about the birds and the bees, which is what I was dreading. At least I dodged that one. “Um, well, I didn’t know that you were, uh, here, but you know what? I did miss you. I missed out on your first five years, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Six and a half, if you count the time I was in Mommy’s uterus.”

Good at math and apparently the talk has already happened. Or at least part of it. “You make a good point, there. When is your birthday, by the way?”

“August fifteenth. I’m going to have a party. Do you want to come?”

“Yes, I’d love to.”

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