Page 60 of Child of Mine

“Do you want to read a book?”

“Uh, sure.”

She hops up to get one, presumably. We are surrounded by them. “So, that was it?” I whisper to Bella.

“I doubt it, but”—she shakes her head—“I’ve never done this before.”

I’m sweating like I just ran five laps around the football field. “Yeah, well, me neither.”

“Do you want me to stay?” she asks. “Or do you want time alone?”

“I don’t know. Uh, I guess we ask her?”

When Lilah returns with a stack of books, Bella asks, “Do you want me to hang out with you guys, or do you want to read just the two of you?”

Lilah trains her assessing gaze on me again for a moment before answering. “You don’t have to stay.”

It’s hard to tell what Bella thinks of this verdict. “Okay. I’ve got some paperwork to do, so I’ll just be up front.” Looking like she’s prepared to be disappointed, she leaves us be.

Lilah sets the books on the coffee table in front of us. The cat, the little gray one, jumps up on the table, and she strokes his back as she speaks. “These are advance reader copies. It’s my job to read the ones for kids so I can make recommendations.” Pointing at the stack, she says, “You can choose.”

The first one that catches my eye is a brightly colored picture book calledChicka Chicka Boom Boom, but when I pick it up, she says, “That’s for little kids. We can read it if you want.” Her tone makes it very clear that it’snotwhat she wants.

“Maybe I’ll read that later to myself.”

She shrugs, but I feel like I passed the first test.

I flip through a couple of thicker books that must be for kids in junior high at least:The Winter RoomandNumber the Stars.“I’m sure these are more your speed, but I’d hate to get into them and not get to finish.”

Her brows go up.

“Today.”

She waits.

“Before dinner.”

She narrows her eyes at me and then holds up a book that I’d’ve thought was closer to her reading capabilities,Wayside School is Falling Down. “I guess we could read this one. I haven’t decided exactly what to say about it.”

“Have you read all of these books already?”

“Once. I read them twice before I write my review.”

“Can you show me your reviews?”

“After we read. Scootch over.”

She sits down next to me and opens the book. “I read fast, so you can turn the page when you’re ready.”

“Okay.” At first it feels odd to sit next to this child—my child—and just read silently to myself. But it’s pretty clear that this is the best way in. It’s not having a catch, but it’s not pretending to drink tea with dolls and stuffed animals either.

The book is a collection of short stories, so we take a break to discuss them after each one. I’ve never been in a book club, but I’m guessing this is what it’s like. It’s the strangest sensation to simply talk about literature with this tiny person who happens to be made of a chunk of my DNA, but when Bella says it’s time for Lilah’s dinner, I’m not ready for it to end.

Lilah asks, “Would you like to come back tomorrow to finish it?”

Without hesitation I answer, “I’d love to” and am rewarded with two of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever seen. At least until Bella schools her expression to neutral.

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