Page 79 of Child of Mine

Facing her, I trail a finger across her clenched jaw. “But there’s a difference, right? Or there could be?”

She glances in my direction briefly before training her gaze on the ceiling again. “I don’t know. That’s the thing. I’ve never…”

When she doesn’t fill in the blank, I say, “Never had sex like we do before?”

Crossing her arms over her face, she grumbles, “Yes. And that’s the problem.”

“Why is it a problem?”

“Because I’m afraid that’s all there is.”

“You think I’m that shallow?”

Her arms flop back down again, revealing a face full of pain. “No,I’mthat shallow. I’ve never been in a real relationship before. I don’t know how to do it, what to do. And the stakes are too high. If I fuck this up, then Lilah has to deal with parents who hate each other.”

And it suddenly makes sense. “Like your parents do?”

Lips pressed together, tears leaking from her eyes, she just nods.

Her distress is a vise squeezing my heart to the breaking point. How do I convince this woman to take a chance on us? I’ve tried to prove that I can be a good dad. Maybe it’s time to let her in on my own fears. When I slide an arm behind her back, she tenses momentarily, but then her body seems to instinctively relax, giving me the courage to go on. “You know,” I say softly, “I’m kind of the same. I work long hours and I’m grumpy, so women give up on me. And it’s always been easy to just let them go because I didn’t really care.”

My heart is beating fast, telling me that I’m stepping into dangerous territory. What if I tell her that I’m already in love with her and Lilah, and then she says she can’t handle it? What if she’s right and we can’t make it work? But what would be worse? To try and fail, or to never try at all? I’ve taken chances in my career. The cost of failing is much, much higher here because a little girl’s well-being is at stake, but the potential reward is more than I ever dreamed possible. So I leap.

“Bella, with you, I’ve cared since the moment we danced on that rooftop. Every day, every moment I’ve spent with you makes me care more. I care about Lilah more than I’ve cared about anything in my life. I can’t give up on this. Not this time. If you can look me in the eye and tell me that there’s no possibility for us, I’ll do my best to accept it. But if there’s a chance, I’m ready to do anything and everything to figure out how to be…” Taking her hand, I press it to my chest so she can feel my heart. “Our bodies know. I think our brains just need to catch up.”

She doesn’t move for what feels like forever. Doesn’t breathe. But she doesn’t remove her hand from my chest either.

Finally, she nods and whispers, “Okay.”

It takes a moment for me to get what she’s said. And I need more. “Okay? Okay to…”

She pulls our joined hands to her own chest. “Okay to… listen to our bodies, and we do our damnedest to make this work.

I can’t help but grin. “So, maybe we let them give us a lesson right now?”

She shakes her head, but she’s smiling too. “I guess we could use a little reminder. Of what we’re good at already.”

“Oh, I can always use that reminder,” I say, rolling on top of her. “And the practice, of course.” Nuzzling into her hairline, I brush kisses across her soft skin from cheekbone to jawline. “I figure the more we do this… and this,” I say, dragging my lips down her neck and then to her breast, taking a pert nipple between my teeth through the thin fabric of her tank top and rolling it with my tongue until she groans, “the more our bodies know, the less our minds have to get involved.”

Sitting up, I meet her heated gaze. What I see gives me an idea. “What about this? When we’re together, just the two of us in this safe space, you call me Hal. I mean, it’s good that I left his tunnel vision and arrogance behind, but he was also…”

“Not jaded?” she asks when I don’t go on.

“Hopeful,” I clarify. “Optimistic.”

She nods, and then shakes her head. “You can’t call me Izzy, though. She’s too…”

“Vulnerable?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

“How about Bel?”

She laughs. “Your southern belle?”

“Nah, you ain’t no southern belle, honey. But you ring my bell,” I growl as I crawl over her luscious body. “You’re the siren that tempts me to toss myself on her shores.”

“I think I can play that role.” Nodding, she slides one finger under my T-shirt and the other under the waistband of my boxers. “Time to get naked,” she whispers.

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