Page 99 of Child of Mine

* * *

HENRY

Bella suggests taking the Merritt Parkway instead of I-95, and not only is the route a bit more scenic, we’re able to find an old-fashioned diner to get lunch. Even though she insists that she doesn’t have an appetite, she manages to eat half my fries as well as her own cup of chowder.

Sitting back in the padded booth, she rubs her stomach. “I guess I was hungrier than I thought.”

Raising my hand to catch the attention of the waitress, I lift my coffee cup in the air with a hopeful smile. Moments later, she’s refilling our cups as she lists the pie varieties on offer. When I ask if she’ll bring us her favorite, she nods approvingly and returns moments later with a large slice of blueberry pie, obviously homemade, topped with vanilla ice cream.

As we dig in, Bella sighs. “Pie always makes things better.”

“Agreed.” Studying her, I’m relieved to note that she’s relaxed considerably over the past couple of hours. I haven’t pressed her for more details about her father or any of the other suspects on her list. When she came to my office this morning, everything about her was hollowed out, like she’d been literally gutted by the letter Carol showed her. Even though it hurt that she’d suspected me, the panic in her eyes made it clear she wasn’t thinking straight.

The thing is, even if we figure out who is trying to blackmail her—and I really hope it isn’t her father—the list of people who enabled her drug use and partied alongside her is long. Unless she can get ahead of the narrative and tell her own story, this could happen again.

I wait until we’re back in the privacy of the car and heading south again to say, “You take life by the horns and ride it, Bella. That’s who you’ve always been.”

She shakes her head. “That’s who Iwas. And look where it got me.”

“That’s who youare. You could’ve hidden your light under a bushel and never let it out again when you left New York.”

“That is what I did.”

“You didn’t have to have Lilah. You could’ve had an abortion or given her up for adoption, but you chose to raise her. By yourself. That was pretty fearless—which is different than being reckless, which doesn’t take other people into account.”

Her brow creases. “I’ve done everything I could to keep her safe.”

“There’s a difference between keeping your child safe and living in fear.”

“Is there, though? Can you be fearless when you know how cruel people can be?”

“I think you have to be. You’ve survived by facing your situations head on. Taking the job at GBH must’ve been scary, especially when you saw me in that lobby.”

She half laughs, half sighs. “I did wish the earth would open up and swallow me in that moment.”

“But you came back anyway.”

She shrugs. “I had to.”

“What I’m saying is, you could’ve given up. But you didn’t. Every time life has put an obstacle in your path, you’ve found a way.”

“Over, under, or through,” she mutters. “That’s what my mom always said about me.”

“I think it’s a pretty amazing example you’ve set for our daughter. I think that’s a big part of why she’s dealing with all the changes so well.”

She shifts in the seat, gaze skimming the trees flying by outside. “Why are you saying all this?”

“Well, I’m wondering, if we can get NBS to let you out of that non-disclosure agreement, would you consider going public about being an addict?”

She stiffens in her seat. “Why would I do that?”

Keeping my eyes on the road, I take her hand, which has gone clammy.

“If you do it, if you tell your story, then you’re in control.” Pulling her hand to my lips and giving it a kiss, I add, “And you’re setting yet another example. For Lilah, for the Boomerang kids, for all the kids out there.”

“An example of how to fuck up your life?”

“You can paint a realistic picture of the dangers a young actor faces. If more people know, they’ll be more likely to intercede before things get out of control.” A quick glance in her direction tells me that I shouldn’t push. The pink has left her cheeks again. “Just something to think about.”

---