Page 118 of The Prodigal Son

The voices in my head drown out my own thoughts. Somewhere in there is a voice telling me to shut the door in his face and tell him to never call again. But old habits die hard and I was never the kind of man who would do that to a pastor, afriend.

Not a friend, Jensen. Not a friend.

“Of course,” I mutter under my breath as I step aside. Derek enters my home, and my skin buzzes with anxiety. He’s just here for a little chat. We’ll catch up and then he’ll leave, and everything will go back to normal.

When Derek enters my living room, Isaac is still on the TV, talking about his music before smiling at the audience. It makes my heart lurch in my chest.

I wish he were here so I could hold him.

I wish I were a different man for him.

Derek smiles at the TV before giving me a knowing glance. “I’m a big fan of this guy. According to the media lately, so are you.” He takes a seat on my couch, in the exact spot I just sat, so I hover nearby and force myself to act normal.

“Can I get you something to drink?” I ask, without looking him in the eye.

“That depends,” he asks. “Are we behaving ourselves tonight?”

Bile rises in my throat. “Derek, I?—”

He laughs. “That was a joke, Jensen. Relax. Water is fine.”

With a shaky breath, I go to my kitchen and pour two glasses of water. Taking them back out, I notice the show has gone to a commercial break, so I hand a glass to Derek and take a seat on the opposite sofa, as far from him as I can get.

“So, how’ve you been?” he asks, staring at me with intensity.

“Fine,” I say, looking at the opposite wall instead of at him. “I’m preaching at Redemption Point now.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard. That’s incredible. Congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

We make small talk for a bit. He mostly talks about his work with the program and how much they’veaccomplished.I feel sick.

“And what about your initiative?” he asks, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Myinitiativeis the plan Eternal Harmony assigned each of us. Our job was to identify our triggers, the temptations in our lives that caused us to stray from the path. Then we had a prescribed course of actions to take to help deny and resist those temptations.

I am a forty-year-old man. I haven’t had an initiative since I was twenty-five, so why can’t I just say that to him now? Why do I suddenly feel like an unruly teenager who’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar?

“I said I’m fine,” I mutter without looking at him.

“Good,” he replies with a head nod. Then he shifts seats, bringing him closer to me, and I stiffen. “Jensen, I’m only here out of concern. When I saw the photos online, I reached out to your mother and she told me where I’d find you. I’ve heard the rumors like everyone else. It breaks my heart to see someone fall from their path of righteousness. I know temptations can be mighty and hard to resist, but it’s your soul I worry about. Your eternal peace.”

He lays a hand on my leg, and I freeze.

He’s so full of shit. His words never match his actions, but his ability to manipulate my mind is some sort of sick talent.

“I’m here because I care. You know that, right?”

Lifting my gaze, I meet his eyes for the first time tonight. Instantly, I’m shrunk down to nothing but an inferior being. I’m a child. A fiend. A sinner.

Because I know he wants me to be compliant, I nod.

“Your actions have great significance, not only on you but on him, too.” He nods toward the TV, where Isaac is now performing with the band. He’s so far away from me, not just in distance but in thought too.

In just a few intense moments, Derek has made Isaac feel like a distant memory to me. Someone from another life.

“We’re friends,” I stammer unconvincingly.

Derek just ignores me. “You have an opportunity here, Jensen. Let me help you.”

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